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Thursday, August 28, 2014

ADHBre?


Hello everyone, and welcome back to the wonderful world of my mind!  My crazy, cluttered, intensely fluid, genius gemini mind.  That's right everyone, this blog is going to be about my insanity.  I am a woman of many passions.  Many, many passions.  Some may even say too many passions?  Probably so! But I've always just attributed it to the fact that I like to do whatever it is that I like to do...what makes me happy!  Then when I started to hear people tell me more about myself through my supposed astrological sign of Gemini, more things started to come together:  I'm a genius, I'm super creative, and my mind is consistently going going going.  More recently however, during one of my daily browses on WebMD (just to make sure I don't have any new diseases), I realized that I may have a disease!

Do I have adult ADHD??

After looking up the symptoms and comparing them to my every day life, I actually really may have this!  Let me walk you through one of my days off last week:

I woke up pretty early, checked some emails, watched some Netflix. Then I had a sudden urge to play my piano.  I practiced for a bit, maybe an hour.  I would start to play a song, but never finish.  I did that for about 5 songs.  Then I had a sudden urge to switch to the bass guitar, so I did that.  Then I thought to myself, I probably should play my electric guitar now so it won't feel left out.  Then, I tried to record a song on my recorder...with all 3 instruments.  I did that in about 5 different way, but didn't finish any of the songs I began.  THEN, I decided it would probably be better if I tried to write some lyrics to a song first.  I wrote about 3 words in one notebook, and decided I'd just do a cover of something, so I looked up lyrics on youtube.  I stumbled upon a cover of gangnam style (which is in Korean).  The cover sounded so good that it made me look up a lesson on Korean. Began to learn a little Korean via some Kpop videos, then decided I needed to make a dance video.  I made 3 separate dance videos (twerk videos actually), and then I realized that the whole day was gone and I hadn't finished one thing! I just kept bouncing around from one thing to another!  This is how my mind works all the time people.  It's very exhausting.  I get super overwhelmed with all of the new things I wanna do and constantly learn.  How do I turn this mind off for like 5 minutes?  How do I concentrate on just one thing at a time?  Do I need pills?  Therapy?  Meditation??  The tangents that my mind takes are insane.  I have sometimes told people that I'm always simultaneously thinking about roughly 7 separate things.  Sometimes they test me and ask me to name them.  Then I name them all! Not sure how I do this really, but it's real!  I also make a bunch of lists all the time.  Lists lists lists. Lists about everything: to do lists, grocery lists, lists of things I like, lists of places.  LISTS!  I have like 6 different blogs (I'm already itching to make another one), 4 different youtube channels, endless notebooks in my apartment, 3 of which I carry around at all times.

Maybe all of this is why I can't advance any further.  No focus or direction.  I know my brain has so much power just waiting to be unleashed upon the world.  I just need to wrangle it all in somehow and tame this beast!

Any suggestions anyone?

Sunday, August 17, 2014

After work crowd


Hello all! It's me Bretony.  (The past few years, when introducing myself, I notice that I shortened my name to just "Bre", mainly for the fact that in loud situations I'd rather people only say part of my name than get the entire thing wrong.  But I need to start saying the whole thing again dammit...my name is awesome!)

It's been about 2 weeks since I quit my main job for the hotel I was working/ slaving at for 2 long years! You know overall, when I told them I wanted to leave because of the many injustices happening (that I itemized in my exit speech in clear bullet points), their whole attitude towards it was so darn apathetic!  Like....y'all aren't even gonna fight to keep me?? They didn't even wanna know why I wanted to leave!  I had to ask if they wanted to know, tisk tisk tisk.  They even took me off of the schedule a week earlier than I said I was going to leave!  Considering all of that blatant disrespect of me as an employee there, I knew I made the right decision to leave.  I did love most of my coworkers however, which was sad to leave them all. Fortunately tomorrow is the annual summer staff party, which I will be crashing like a computer that just downloaded a jankey version of adobe suite.

Conveniently, one week after I quit, my sister asked if I wanted to come out to Detroit for her birthday party, her treat! Heck yea I did! Trip #5 this year!  Detroit was very nostalgic.  I rarely ever visit, and when I do, I'm only around for a few days.  It's always very weird to see all the people who actually still live there.  Other than that, for my sister's birthday, it was the first time that me and my younger sister's all hung out together in our adulthood.  It was pretty fun!  I've realized that when we all go out together, we are a pretty unstoppable force.  We shoulda started a dang singing group or something... what the heck is wrong with us!?  Anywho, the last day I was there, a HUGEEE flood went down.  My sister's block had like waist deep water on the street level, and her car was underwater! I was almost trapped in Detroit for a few more days, but I decided to leave my luggage there (since I couldn't get to it anyway) and row on over to the unaffected airport.

Back in NYC, I've been working at my secondary job with a few days off in between to clean my house and get things in order.  I also have to become one with my newfound free time so that I can learn to monetize my bohemian artsy wayward life! It will be hard, because I really don't care all that much about money as long as I have a nice place to live, and food everyday.  Everything else comes!  I will show you all the way don't worry.  Gotta finish reading that darn thick Oprah biography...so many pages.

anywho!  Peace out yall!  Please keep commenting through the difficulties, I need to know these are being read!




Friday, August 08, 2014

(NOT)Youtube

So I was reading an article online about some youtube music policies:
http://www.adamrafferty.com/2010/05/28/critical-info-for-youtube-musicians-who-perform-cover-songs/

 and it got me mad!

WTF happened to you youtube??? As each day passes when I don't put out another video online, I contemplate why, and now I finally know.  I fckn HATE youtube now!  Youtube use to be something completely different than what it is today.  COMPLETELY. And it makes me so freakin annoyed that I have to jump through hoops nowadays just to put something out!  The main thing that is very annoying to me (and also very tedious to get around when creating videos) is the "copyright infringement BULL crap"  that they get so bent out of shape over.  I feel like I may have possibly been one of the first people on youtube (first 500 definitely),  and uploading things back then was such a breeze.  A walk in the park compared to all the technicalities now.  Whenever I felt inspired or moved to do a dance or sing a song, or have intro music, outro music, I just freakin did it! I began my channel as an outlet to incorporate the music that I love with the entertainment that I love.  It was always a dream of mine to have a show on MTV for that simple fact.

I'm not sure how recently youtube has decided to change the rules so drastically and strictly, but now I can't even use a little PIECE of anybody's music without having to fight for it to stay online.  I posted a small 1 minute video using Beyonce's song "Flawless" for less than 60 seconds as an intro to the speaking part of the video... copyright infringement flags all up and through!   Everybody freakin knows that it's Beyonce's song, nobody is trying to use it in an unlawful manner, I'm not even making any money off of it.  I just wanted to make a short music video! What is so wrongggg about that?  These corporations in the music industry are getting more and more greedy every day, and the individual artists aren't even seeing half of this so called "money" that is being made.  It just really frustrates me.

Don't get me wrong, I love independent artists as well.  I have many friends who make music, and I like to incorporate as much of their music as I can.  I also like to help give them as much exposure as I can, but I ALSO like songs I hear on the radio sometimes.  Is it a crime?  What is the point of even having the music to listen to if we can't use it in the videos we make?  Everything in the world gets more and more complicated by the minute.  I miss all of the simpler times of the world.  Perhaps the grandparents of the world miss all of the simpler times that were before us.  Perhaps.

All I know is, I want and need to be able to use music in the things that I create.  I don't care if I don't make a dime, I just want an outlet for my visions.  Blah.  Now I just don't know what to do anymore.

I need some advice everyone.

p.s.  I was also recently told that even the comments on this blog have been hard to post due to all of the complicated changes that have been made (about google merging with every waking aspect of the internet and making you log in through that or facebook to do ANYTHING online).  But if you are able, please do comment! I read every single thing....

or just email me at bretonymcgee@gmail.com

p.p.s   I quit my main job last week!  I now to more freedom to create the empire that will be supporting me for the rest of my life... hopefully.  I am also in Detroit my home town for my sister's birthday.  Very nostalgic!  ALSO! check out my new found venture... photography!  Yes, I know I'm very random as a person.

http://bretonyamber.500px.com/#/0

p.p.p.s  One of my friends were asking about me at my old job, and a co-worker of mine (not sure which one) told my friend "Ohhhh, Bretony, that weird girl"

I'm not weird dangit! Well, maybe, but weird is cool eff you!