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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Think about what it is you REALLY want out of life...

Sometimes I feel like I know what I wanna do with my life...

But then other times I'm unsure.  I just need to probably evaluate all of the things I love to do, all of the things that are important to me, and all the things that I don't like.  Then maybe I can start focussing on how to do what I want while avoiding what I don't.  Then will my life feel more complete?  Will I feel like I'm moving in some sort of particualr direction?

The facts:

I like learning new things and gaining new knowledge.
I like sharing the knowledge I've learned.
I like to argue and debate.
I like to be in front of the camera, as well as the center of attention.
I like to be cute and stylish.
I like to entertain.
I like to create.
I like to inspire, motivate, and spread happiness and optimism.
I like peace.
I like relaxing and enjoying the beauty of nature and life.
I like music.
I love food!

With all of these things that I live to do, I need to somehow merge or fuse them all in to something that I want to accomplish.  Maybe several things that I want to accomplish.  Also, on what scale I would like to accomplish them.  I've come to learn that dreams of fame and fortune are...well...kinda stupid.  People often say they want to be famous.  But why? What is getting you to this point of fame?  What do you LOVE to do that is getting you there? People focus on the end result as oppose to what it actually is that they want.  They lose focus and begin to do whatever it is they can just to get to this outcome, even if it means doing something you may NOT love.  It becomes a gimmick of sorts.

I'm no longer concerned with ridiculous levels of fame.  It would be nice to have as many people as possible listening to the words I say or watching all of the art I put into the universe, but the fact is, I reach some people.  I reach people all the time, and in reaching those people, they reach others, and they others, and so on and so on.  I just want to keep doing the things that I love everyday, then everything that is supposed to come along with it, will.  Happiness is the key.  Keep yourself happy, and stimulated...you will go very far!

(This isn't even really for you guys, it's mainly for myself.  Typing it out really helps my mind visualize all of the things that I'm trying to peace together.)

Peace and chicken grease!


Monday, August 06, 2012

Introspector Gadget...

Hello guys! It's me, Bretony, duh.

This summer has gone by way too fast! As summers usually do.  What have I been doing with my life you may ask? Many things! That equal up to...nothing too huge I suppose.  Been working at my new hostessing job.  I'm not hating it! I also went to California (as well as Michigan for father's day).  California was freakin awesome. So chill, so relaxed, so everything I needed to get away from the stressful city life I live.  I went to an island called Catalina, which I believe is my new calling in life.  If any of you readers know me at ALL, you know that I absolutely adore islands, and have always wanted to love on one.  Well, that was my first little taste of island life.  It was pretty sweet! Everything is so simple there and carefree! I asked some of my new homies who live there about the daily life, and it basically consists of semi working, the beach, boating, fishing, snorkeling, relaxing, seeing beautiful nature all day, swimming, canoeing, and being one with the sun.  There was this artist guy who lived in his studio basically, his name was Will Richards.  His house basically had no ceiling.  And the entire place was like one huge island art project.  It was my fantasy living accommodations! I could've just stayed there forever in the reclusion of the water and mountains.  One crazy thing tho, everyone there was boo'd up like no tomorrow! Idk what I'd do about finding a mate if I was stuck on an island.  maybe get a bunch of puppies? And a sperm donor.  Oh well!

Back to NYC reality tho, and getting on with my life and what I want to do with the rest of it.  I've figured out that I want to be a motivational entertainer.  Which is a little title I made up for myself.  I've never actually heard of it before, but it consists of spreading new found knowledge of self discovery, and motivation to live the best life that you possibly can, and should, while being entertained in all aspects of entertainment...if that makes any sense?  Idk man, it's a working title!  But I will figure it all out hopefully.  The main thing I lack in my life is structure and guidance.  I know all the things I wanna do, but getting them done in a particular way? I just don't know how!  How do I achieve these things that I've never even really heard of before, and practically just made up in my head??  It all begins with motivation.  One little thing could spark the rest of everything.  Just one little push is all it takes to get the ball rolling right?  I have to do at least SOMETHING rather than nothing right?  And as long as I'm doing SOMETHING, at least it's not nothing. HA! Great philosophy I know right? Sometimes the simplest things said are the most powerfully important. Taking your own advice tho is WAYYYYY easier said than done.  But I know what I CAN do... SOMEthing.  And so can all of you.  Do one thing each day.  Just one. One thing that you absolutely love to do. That releases you, relaxes you, and soothes your soul.  Yet advances you to another level of something you would like to achieve in your life.  Even if it's as simple as figuring out what it is you want to achieve in life!  Perhaps that is what I need to do.  Figure it out, visualize, and follow through! I will update you guys! As alwaysssss...keep on truckin! 

p.s. I really need a freakin new video camera, but in the mean time, I'll work with what I have I suppose?

p.p.s I'm also trying to stop being so gosh awful lazy, and get up and do some sort of physical activity that reqires me actually getting out of the bed (as oppose to doing my exercises IN the bed).

peace in the middle east yall!



Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Why I wanna be famous....

I know everyone seems to be on the search for internaitonal fame and stardom these days...wether it be for rapping, singing, acting, modeling, or some other form of entertainment... but why?

What are the motives behind everyones strive for fame?

For me? It's not about the money, or the glamor. It really all comes down to one main reason.

I want what I have to say, to be heard. Think about it. I write this blog when I can, I tweet, facebook, post pictures, make videos.  Some may think that's a lot, but in reality, it doesn't reach nearly an audience of even half of an entire city of people! Not one city, in one state, in one country, in one continent, on this planet! There are som many more people out there who have absolutely zero idea who I even am, or anything I have to say!  I believe that what I say is the truth as best of my knowledge. It is self discovery and honesty as far as I am concerned, a midst a world full of people who just simply aren't honest with themselves. In enlightening myself through different daily revelations and epiphanies, I hope to also inspire everyone else in doing just the same thing. But how can I do this on such a small scale? When my seemingly insignificant voice doesn't reach even a fraction of the people I would like it to? Many celebrities and famous people these days use their fame in such a stupid way that it makes me mad! You have millions and billions of people listening and watching every single move you make...and you chose THAT to say? THAT to show the world? You have the power for so much more but do you use it for good? NO! But people continue to listen intently as ever to the mindless banter that these people make over social networks as well as in the public eye.

The famous people who DO actually say inspiring stuff, and use their outlets in such a way as to make GOOD use of their words, we hardly ever hear about!  I wish to use my voice, and power, when it is given to me, for the better of the world.  I always think that this is maybe why I haven't gotten famous yet.  I am being molded and shaped, so that when I do infact get into the eye of everyone, I will know exactly the things to share with them...as I continue to grow within myself of course.

A secondary reason, is that I really love to perform and entertain on every level. Some people love to sing, or act, or dance, or play music. I like to do everything! Some of it may not be the best, but I believe with the right help and development, lol, I could be very entertaining and captivating to people :)

And lastly, I have huge self confidence issues at times, as you ALLL may know.  But I feel, if I were in more of a public eye, people could help build my confidence by maybe making me more into a glamourous/fashionable type of person that people look up to in a beauty iconic type of way maybe? I may not look like super alot these days, but hey! I'm almost certain if people like Rihanna, Beyonce and all a dem were not famous, they'd just be regular cute girls that SOME people like, instead of international sex symbols and proclaimed most beautiful people alive and crap...idk, confidence booster I suppose.

The last thing on my mind when it comes to fame is money.  I mean, I'm sure it comes with the territory and all, but i don't put money on a pedestal like that. I just really like to eat good foods, travel, and make sure all the people I love and care about (and TRULY love and care about me) are well taken care of. Also, that people in the world better themselves so we wil have less poverty, hunger, homelessness and other sorts of money related issues.  I'm really just trying to make this world a better place for everyone. Not just for me.  I want my voice to be heard people. And unless you have important things to say, you shouldn't add to the pointless banter of the "celebrity world" that has been so tainted and pedestalized (which probably isn't a word, but you know).

---------------

In other news! This super great book called 'Fifty shades of Grey' is REALLY helping me out through my dry spell! It's so awesome! Makes me wanna find a bew who actually TRULY, GENUINELY LIKES me for once and not just pretends -_____-

Also, I'm gonna try to work on my fashion blog more (maybe). And I'm working on doing LOTS and lots of traveling this summer (hopefully I'll save enough from my new job as a hostess).

Wish me luck guys, still on my journey! *Don't stop, beliiiieviiiiin*

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Of all the terrible things you did to me, probably the worst one...

On the day my mom died, KNOWING I had an emergency flight to catch to Michigan the very next morning, you told me... your friend had a birthday thing that night, and that you were going to swing by there.....

you were gone that day from about 4pm to 1am. Probably the saddest day of my life, and you. were. partying. I should have known from that moment on to be done with you.  But ha nope, I stuck around.

I should have ALSO been leary of the fact that the DAY we got together, you made out with a girl RIGHT in FRONT of my face. Sparking the conversation "Well if we were officially together, I wouldn't do things like that anymore"...

and even after alllllll of the things I did for you while I let you live with me, share my phone bill, support your stupid "job", ALL of my concern and care, was returned...with nothing. It was returned with a move out while I was away... you taking the tv we bought TOGETHER, but somehow leaving me with all of the responsibilities of the cat YOU wanted...and a brand new picture of you and some new b**** as your main profile picture.  You never really cared huh?

I sure know how to pick these f****n losers huh?  I really need to sit down and analyze why every love interest I pick is the ultimate fail of all fails. Why do people feel the need to keep doing me wrong?  Like seriously, what did I do?  Is it all those mirrors that I broke? Those ladders I walked under? What??? Is there ever going to be hope ever again for anything serious?

What is love? Definitely nothing I've ever experienced.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Trayvon Martin....

I would first like to say, it is very sad when anyone is randomly taken from this earth.  Be it young person, old person, black or white... anyone! Why this very particular case grew to the proportions that it did? I guess I will never really be sure (kind of like how some of the most average pictures on tumblr have thousands of "like" - just a metaphor btw, calm yourselves!).

To my understanding, the people are outraged because: a young black boy was unnecessarily killed by a latino, who is 10 years older, under the grounds of "self - defense". There was no investigation, and the man was not arrested.  Que the community to unrest...

I agree, that based on those facts alone, there should have been some sort of trial.  I agree that this seems to be a very tragic death, and I also even agree the shooter to be gravely wrong from what I know to have happened.  But people...if there is one thing I've learned from watching countless hours of law and order, is that the law system in America is very fickle! Like seriously! There are so many loop holes and red tape involved with the law system, how evidence is obtained, outdated laws, jurisdictions, he say/she say, everything! There are some people who get away with freaking murder, and some who get prosecuted to the fullest without even really being guilty at all! My grandfather died in prison after being put in there before I even really knew who he was.  To his last days on earth, he stuck to his story that he was innocent.  My mom would take us to see him all the time, and she'd talk about how she was working to get his case appealed. But never again was he a free man.  Bottom line... the law system is FKCED.  It cannot be trusted. EVER. As much as we rally and protest and try to change little things here and there, it will STILL. BE. FCKED!

Also, there is so much hatred towards this man (George Zimmerman), and everyone associated with him. I hear there is even a bounty placed on his capture by the black panthers.  No one cares about this guys family, who had absolutely nothing to do with the murder or anything.  What is this backward nonsense?  Who are we as people to destroy even MORE lives in this process?  Our place isn't really to seek out our own justice, that is the lords.  Only he knows.  Only he can inflict an equal punishment for the crime that Zimmerman has committed. Not any man.  Really tho, who are WE to judge anyone? The world is so backwards in this day and age.  Would you not think it wrong for a mafia guys whole family to be tortured, JUST because the mafia guy screwed someone over?

I am not trying to argue the events of Trayvon's untimely death.  I'm not even siding with this guy Zimmerman.  I'm just saying, this whole thing has turned into even more hatred towards one another.

Please let me know your thoughts...

Thanks for reading!

Peace in the middle east....

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Sometimes we do some veryyyyyy strange things when we're alone. And we think no one is watching...

We also say a lot of things, to ourselves really, when no one else is around.

In that sense, we are all pretty strange creatures.  We just don't fully know how to express our inner most desires to the world, so we act out while by ourselves.  But how do we know we aren't being watched?  Our every move, everywhere, every single freaking thing we do? Actually, we are.  By a higher power?  Perhaps...

Just think, a higher power out there knows all of those strange things we do and say when we THINK no one else is watching.  For years and years, ever since we've been born.  Not even our mind is safe.  Even if we don't necessarily do or say the things, we think of even stranger things...

But then again, what is strange? What is normal? What is right or wrong? There is only difference. We think certain behaviors are normal or acceptable because the majority has deemed it as such. Which started with just one person who deemed it a such.  Just think, the entire rightness or wrongness of everything that is in our society today began with one person. I had to have right?

Is this making any sense?

p.s.  Time is money right? Yet time, you can never get back, it is irreplaceable.  Money comes and goes as it pleases.  It can be taken from you, given to you... at any moment! Not time, it is constant.  So why do we chase money and give up all of our time to it so freely...which we can never get back?  Moments are slipping away in every breath we take! In every word you are reading right now!  Is it that we don't know what to do with it?  We feel as if we have an infinite clock that will never run out? Hmm...


p.p.s. Don't mind me, this Mucinex DM has me kinda high....


Wednesday, February 01, 2012

hello everyone!

It's February 1st 2012, and do you know what that means?? Yup! Day 1 of my february habit forming! yaaayy!!

Goal number one was a huge bust tho, not even gonna lie (Wake up early, blah)... I mean, I didn't wake up THAT late, there is still sun outside, so I'm good! (but I am gonna work on getting up earlier tho, i'm such a night person!)

Finished my 8-minute abs (since I couldn't go to the gym, but I'll do that tomorrow!)

Gonna work on my Russian and Japanese on the train today, and I learned how to play "someone like you" (kinda) on the guitar!

Idk you guys, I think the hardest part of doing anything is starting, and finishing...but mainly starting.  And since I actually started, I feel pretty good.  Doing it every single freakin day is gonna be blowing me at first, I already know! But I must do it! i must have control over my life! Ahhhhhhh!

I hope you guys are doing this too dangit! let me know your journey!!!

peace and chicken grease!

Seacrest, out!

(and watch my dang video!)


Monday, January 23, 2012

Hey Yawl!



It's a month into the new year... and what df do you have to show for it??!!  By golly, this year is moving at the speed of light huh??  Anyyywhoo, I know that life is going by really fast, yet seems slow at times, but actually, it's really fast, so don't waste it.  I remember my homie Alexis had a facebook status (p.s. i'm back on facebook and twitter! (blahhh)), that I will now roughly try to remember...

actually, nevermind, lemme go look for it... hold on!

see how fast that took! Back already!

"Imagine there is a bank account that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course? Each of us has such a bank. It's name is TIME. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to a good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no over draft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no drawing against "tomorrow." You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success! The clock is running!! Make the most of today."

Moral of the story, don't waste precious time in your life that you may think you have a lot of.  It's constantly moving and will never stop or reverse.  So if you don't use it... now! It is gone forever.



I read on another one of my friend's twitter today (forgot who, sorry!) that if you do something for 28 days, it becomes a habit.  If you have a bad habit of doing nothing with all of your time, OR not making the most of it, I suggest you make a list of some things that you can do to form new, more productive habits! I have tried to make a semi list.  Not sure wether I should wait to start February 1st, (since Feb. has 28 days) or to just do it now.  I should probably do it now! lol, anywho, I will share my list, and then you can let me know anything else that would be productive to add!

1. gym/ working out
2. Facial exercises
3. Waking up early
4. eating 3 times a day
5. doing one new thing a day
6. meeting one new person a day
7. doing one good deed a day
8. Filming something everyday
9. Eating an apple a day (?)
10. Eat more fruit and veggies
11. practice Russian and Japanese
12. Practice guitar
13. Write everyday

Doing all of that stuff every day for 28 days isn't too much right? It would probably take up an hour all together at the most.  But that's just the start of my list.  I have just realized that one of the main things my life lacks is structure. I am a freaking wandering leaf! Trust me, my life will still have all of its spontaneity, but I just need to use my downtime MUUUCH more wisely.

Lemme know ya thoughts on my truth for that azz!

peace in the middle east!



Thursday, January 05, 2012

Hey guess what!


I deleted my facebook and twitter the beginning of this year... randomly as all heck! why you may ask? They were just so distracting to my life! I would find myself waking up and immediately checking the timeline, then scroll...scroll...scroll...SCROLL! till the death of me! I need to stop worrying about what other people are doing, and do something of my own.  Also, real g's move in silence (i.e. "lasagna").  So everybody doesn't really need to know my every move of every single day! I do still have my blog to keep me sane...and also tumblr to keep me laughing, and instagram to feed my vanities (i know, i know... terrible).  Let's see if people will still care what I'm doing since i'm not on those sites anymore...

confession tho, I actually do have a back up facbook tho, but i only have less than 100 followers, so that doesn't really count for much.  I really just wanted to get away from all of those thousands of watchers stalkin me everyday... get away from all of those people who secretly get on my nerves, but i was still facebook friends with, sprawled all over my home page...lots of drama!  I'm sure I'll be back tho, as always... but I needed a break!

I've also decided on the deserted island I want to move to. Kiribati, Kirimus! It's really such a beautiful place (you can look it up on google maps).  It's not really all the way deserted, but it's pretty darn secluded. All I really need is a beach to be naked and nappy headed on.  Ahhhhhh, the life!

But ok guys, I'm gonna go and prosper right now.  Trying to be as productive as I can this year. Remember this general rule of physics... a body at rest, stays at rest... a body in motion, stays in motion! truth.net!

okie doke guys, peace in the middle east!

p.s.

I recently did a fashion flash mob in times square with this designer Julian Pierre (I wasn't in the video that much, they were hating on my swag, but I'm in there!), and the video came out so effin poppin!!!! the quality is just amayzinggggg! I researched a camera similar to the one it was filmed with, and that is now my new goal in life.  I speak it into existence!!! canon t3i here I come! (oh, and check out the video)

peace!


Monday, January 02, 2012

Hey!


It's 2012! ahhhhhh!! I was gonna blog on the actually new year, but my laptop died.... but now it's charging!

 I feel like I was so super negative last year, and I really don't believe in the whole "new year, new me" things, but I would really like to stop being so negative all the time. I feel like I could be a bitch sometimes to certain people, and just be really mean.  Even tho, sometimes I just don't like being taken advantage of! I feel like everyday is a new opportunity to change yourself anyway.  We should always take these opportunities, not just on New Years!  There are a few things I wanna change, but I mean hey, I so could have done them last year, and I could easily do them this year if I think about them... but we shall see.  I never really know what's going to happen until it's happening.


anywho! Point of the story, this year, I will be as positive as a hoe's pregnancy test, and try to be more nice to everyone :)

even tho being a bitch is fun at times! (i'll see tho, I'll choose my battles )

Hope everyone has a good life in general, not just a good "new year"

deuce!