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Saturday, May 30, 2009


i just figured out the key to my life. i think i finally realize God's purpose for me. and im gonna share it with this blog so i can realize it even more...(then im gonna go write a rap to this beat that i cant get outta my head)

so. here it is...yesterday, i was looking in the mirror, like i usually my face. how its ridden with bumps and marks and dryness and oiliness and all that other stuff. i was really getting depressed looking at it. as always. then i got on the phone. i was talking to the person about my problems. i asked, why is it that some people have it so easy? why is it that they are born with perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect bodies, and dont have to work for it...its just natural?

as i was venting, i came to a realization about my life. i was not born perfect. i wasnt born with a clean pallate of skin. i wasnt born with long flowing curly hair, nor a vuluptous (sp) body. i wasnt born into a rich, nice family. none of that. i was born me. so if i want my skin to be better, im going to have to work for it. its not just gonna be handed to me on a silver platter. hmmm...then i LIFE isnt gonna be handed to me on a silver platter. im gonna have to work for that ish. I was given this to teach me how to work for what it is that i want. The things I want are not going to come easy. They wont be handed to me. I wasnt born with oppertunity. But what i WAS born with is the determination and drive to do it. i just havent figured that out yet. i guess i just have to start small. once i conquer this one thing, i can learn to trust myself into working for the bigger things that i need. i have all the tools i need, now it is time for me to use them.

this acne was a sign in my life that i am JUST now beginning to realize. people...if you wanna get ahead in life, you HAVE to be aware of the signs that life is giving you! another sign that i've had recently was kinda freaky...

not freaky like that you freaks!

i saw a dead bird on day. just laying on the street. then i saw another like the same day. i was like whoa what the heck? i had never seen anything like that. and i was like ew, why am i seeing this? then i realized it had to be a deeper meening. ofcourse! killing two birds with one stone! moving to new york will help me kill 2 birds with one stone somehow, two things that have been plauging me. but then...i saw ANOTHER dead bird.

what could this mean? it MEANS that i will kill more than 2 birds with this one stone. I will accomplish everything that i need to.

maybe i have figured out the key to my life you guys...


maybe im just crazy.

only time will tell! peices!!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

i need to find out a way to get more site traffic to this dang stupid ugly freakin blog... (just playin blog, you know i love you)

anywho, seriously tho. everyday i get on the internet...adn i browse and browse and browse, looking for something that is gonna change my life, trying to be in the right place at the right time, internetly speaking ofcourse.

trying to gain some sort of knowledge that i hadnt had before. trying to realize what other people are doing, going through, tlaking about, thinking about, making videos about, writing blogs about.

i try to sign up for things, i try to win things, i just basically try everything i can think of. yet where am i? still in the same spot as i always am. wtf!

the internet is too dang big and full of stuff for me not to know how to use it properly. nobody tells me anything, everything is so intricate and complicated, every page leads to yet another, everything is so darn technical. but once i figure this whole thing out, HA. trust me, its gonna really be on and poppin. and im gonna bring it all back to my wonderful blog and share it with the rest of the world. why you may ask? cuz i aint stingy!


Tuesday, May 26, 2009


yay me and all that jazz

...that is all, carry on :)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


what is yours? what is mine? does anybody really have one? why do we complain about our lifves? does everything really happen for a reason? why do i ask so many questions i KNOW that i will never factually know the answers to? we all have to read this book called the alchemist, but besides that, whats up with yall?

i've been slowly and surely trying to figure this life thing out. its hard. its complicated. sometimes i cant deciepher up from down, left from right, right from wrong... sometiems i wish i could go back to when i was a baby so i could live my life all over again. i dont think i did it right. but on the other hand, would i even be the same person i am? i hate kanye, but in a song of his he says everything he's not has made him everything he is. its kinda true. eh. everything. every SINGLE thing that we have done in our life has lead up to the point that we are right now. one thing differant and we probably wouldnt be anything like the person we are today.

i keep saying that im old. and i am kinda old in my mind. but alot of people say to me 'bretony, you arent old! shut up!' i be like 'i am old!' then they say 'no you aint!' and then that usually goes on for a while...

and then i think about it like, im kinda NOT that old. i just feel stuck. but when i think about it, i would just be graduating college right now. so ACTUALLY, im kinda not that old. its like i've just been in college all this time. havent really been learning anything educational persay....but i have been learning about real life. and real life can teach you a whole lot. so i've come to terms with the fact that IM NOT THAT OLD! (well actually i am gonna be that old in a week, because im turning 22 on may 26th! ahhhh! old!) i have a lot of life ahead of me tho. that is if i dont die a weird freakish death sometime before then. which is unlikely :)

i've also learned that as far as complaining goes, we need to give ourself a little talk before we start to verbally express certain feelings. we need to take the thing we are about to complain about and put it into either one of two categories: things that i can do something about, and things i cant do anything about. for instance, complaining about how tall you are. you cant change how tall you are! so stop b*tchin about it and just learn to love yourself. complaining about how broke you are...that is fixable, so instead of complaining and regretting and blaming people, think of how you can NOT be broke. duh people. this simple method could help eliminate complaints altogether and just get people motivated to solve their own problems and embrace what they cant change. think about it. you know its the truth.

fact of the matter is, even though people get on my nerves, i try to help everyone be the best person they can be. but i know that starts with me. im not too old. i have nothing to complain about. read the alchemist, its a good book, it'll make you think.

also read goosebump books, they can be scary.

ok peeps. that pretty much it, holla at a pimp!

p.s. and yes i did say my brithday is next week!!

you can give me a birthday present by sending something to my paypal (

cuz im broke! (im not complaining tho !)

k bye!


Tuesday, May 05, 2009

hey blog!

whats up. its me here. ya homie. or maybe not ya homie. im checkin in to see how everyone out there is doin. it seems like its always me me me me, but i really do like to hear what everyone else is doing sometimes. so let a sis know.
anywho, in other news. im gonna tell you my "plans" or whatever for the "summer" or whatever...or whatever!

ok so, thing is, i kinda gotta be outta my "apartment" by june 1st, but actually i gotta be out by like next week, but i TECHNICALLY have to be out like this week. its complicated as you can see. i have been going over all of my possible options, which is kinda werid seeing that i have absolutly no money, no assests, and piles of debt. but thats cool. i aint stressin. the most recent plan of many plans that i have like every 5 minutes, was to go on a cross country road trip with my best freind whitney...but turns out, whitney is a huge stick in the mud and does not want to go with me anymore...talkin bout how she has to be in a "specific place" or some other junk.

i just wish there was someone in this world like me. so i can elate to them, so i can tell them all my ideas and they'll just be like ok bretony! lets go! lets do it!. nah. nothin like that over here. all my friends are sticks in one huge pile of mud!

so i was talking to another friend of mine about the situation, and he's like, why dont you just go by yourself? FIRST of all...what the heck i look like cross country travelin with my high yellow self all up in the dark and loneliness of the open freakin road knowin good and well i have no clue where im goin, no money and no nothin. and SECOND of all, my mom is NEVER gonna let me use her car if she thinks its just gonna be me and the dusty trails. hecky naw.

then we talked somemore and he insinuated how it seems like i am too highly dependant on others to do things with me. which eh, i knida am, i'll admit. but its like sheesh, some things you just need other people. but i kinda get where he commin from. kinda. maybe. a little bit. i just need to stop trying to convince others to do things with me and just do that shit my own self.

i need to stop making "esxcuses" and just do things i guess. if i really want it that is.

p.s. i want a lip ring still. i might get one this week. (lol, but seriously tho)