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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

are you happy??

Cuz Im not sure if I really am right now.... everyday is just routine. i wake up, go to work, barely work, be mad at people, then come home, try to clean up, get on the internet, maybe watch tv, and then go back to sleep and do it all over. This is NOT how i expected any part of my life to be you guys... but the sad part about it, is I know people out there who are doing the exact same thing, and they think there is nothing they can do.

Everybody has a dream, well hey, maybe some people dont, i dont know...but thats just really lame if you dont. Some people have more than one dream, but some only have one. and they figure to themselves, "if i could just do that one thing that i love doing for the rest of my life, i would be happy..." and that is very lovely to imagine! but the reality of things is, if everyone was doing what they loved, then there would be no one to do the things that NEED to be done. like run gas stations. and be a trash man. do you really think that those trash men love being trash men? come on now, what do you think? but if they were doing what their actual passion in life was, who would collect the garbage? so basically, the bottom line, point of my story thing is, everyone can not be happy.

sad but true! i know right! so then another questions arises...who is to determine who are the happy ones and who are the workers? we do people, we do. the position in life that i am in right now is 100% my fault. i can blame it on whoever i want to, but the fact of the matter is, it really is up to me what i do with my life, as well as what im CURRENTLY doing with it. but i dont know you guys, a lot of factors come in to play too...

i admit, that i am a person infatuated with looks, i wish i wasnt, but its a curse. i feel that there is strong correlation between a.) the way a person looks b.) how happy they are, and c.)how successful they are in life

there are exceptions to this correlation, but for the most part, I find it to be true. all the pretty b*tches are usually always keeping up with their looks and what not, always staying fabulous looking, because they are so pretty that people give them money. you NEVER would see a drop dead gorgeous person in a welfare offive sittin down somewhere tryin to fill out some paper work....people would look at her like she was crazy. its just flat out easier man! and you know its true! also, when people look better, they are treated better....fellas, lets say you worked at a clothing store...and a seemingly "ugly" girl walked in, but then right behind her, a pretty girl walked in. now who would you be more willing to help? come on now! and since the ugly girl knows that you're giving all of your attention to the pretty girl, ugly will be sad...then ugly girl will go home and reflect on her meaningless life... and so yes people, their cycle of depression continues...

another factor that also comes in to play for me is fear. fear of a lot of things really...mainly fear of if i will end up chosing the right thing to do at a particular moment. there is a great poem, i forgot who it was by, i think robert frost or something...its called 'the road not taken' (seriously, look it up and read it). its like the freakin story of my life man! it basically says that in life we have major choices we have to make, adn we can either go down one road or the other, but after we go down that one road, it is hard, if not impossible to return to the same point and go down the other road to see what you missed, you just have to make the best decision you can based on as far as you can see. there is some statistic out there that says people make an average of about....(well i forgot the ACTUAL number, but it was something alot)...desicions a day. now some of these desicions, most of them in fact, are not very important, and will not end up causing any dramatic remorse....but some of the decisions (how the crap do you spell that word?!), are far more important to the overall out come of out life. I just dont wanna make the wrong choices with my life because i know that once i make certain choices.....there is simply no turning back.

oh man you guys, i just wish i had a personaly psychic assistant who could look into the future and tell me everything i need to do and choose before had so that i can just know, ya know? i guess i have to be my own personal assistant psychic and just like, take bigger chances, and make firmer decisions ( really hate that word), and just try to look ahead as far as i can to see if the outcome will be in my best or worse intrest. i put things off for as long as i can until i absolutly am forced to decide....and thats because even then, im still not sure....

very confusing times people, very confusing...

anywho, that is all for B today, i have to write my other blog too...

check that ish out! i speak the truth in my other blog also:

but yeah, guess thats it...choose wisley my peeps!

p.s. those ads at the top of the page look interesting...***hint hint!!***

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Oh Brother(s)...
Umm...yeah, like what the heck you guys. The topic I will be talkin about today is very serious to me, even though it may seem a little...fickle. How come boys dont EVER wanna be just friends???!!!!!
This question has plauged me ever since i started high school probably...maybe ven middle school...but ya know, its just like what the heck. Its extra hard these days tho...I really just. Its very hard.
Lets just say for now,in this post, hypothetically, maybe in real life, I have a boyfriend (I cant disclose all of the information right now). Since I have a boyfriend ya know, im expected to like be faithful and whatnot, as is he. And that is pretty understandable right? Should be! But hardly it is. I guess you could call me attractive or what not, and i REALLY dont mean to be tootin my own horn and all that, but it just seems like every boy i meet, and start trying to be friends with latley, they all just end up liking me and junk! Im like what the heck?! why cant i have any male friends with out turning them on?! I only have lets say about 2 or 3 male friends that i have been knowing for a while now that dont want me, and hey, maybe they secretly do! but they just havent said anything like that. I know im not everybody's type, im not even like one of the finest people i know, so i guess i just have like a totally a** kickin personality that people just fall in love with, and i cant help that. but now it just seems like i cant even open up my gaurd to boys now a on the internet...people i meet in my store...people i just meet anywhere. they cant be trusted! no boy can be trusted! none of them want to be my friend, and if they say they do, they are probably lying...i really just dont know what to trust. i mean, i like having friends, but they just end up wanting to take it further, and i cant do that right now because im in a "relationship".
this is all just very weird stuff yall... its different for girls. girls are statistically less horny than guys, so every cute guy they meet, they arent just gonna be like, "what up pa, can i get yo number?....thats cool we can just be friends!"
im mean, some slutty hoeish girls are like that, but most of them are not. we can control ourselves. we like guys, but for the most part, we would rather have a friend. basically tho, im a very big skeptic of platonic relationships. i dont belive them for a minute. in some case however, you may find that one rare, non gay dude that really does just want to be your friend. but most likley ladies, its not gonna happen. its a tough world out there tho, and i just wanna say, be careful!
and if ya dont know....yall know what to do

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