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Friday, February 22, 2008

bretony is about something....i hope it is good...

pray for me yall

Monday, February 11, 2008

Bretony wants to talk about some MUY IMPOTANTE things!
FIRST of all, thanks people who read my blog! and especially comment, i love reading your feedback about my crazy mixed up take on life...
and also, if ya thinkin bout whitening your teeth, CREST WHITESTRIPS definalty works...(no they are not payin me to say that, my advertisement is free...for now). I tried to see if they work work, and holla! they did! its not realy significant white like that, but it looks natural in a way and not just, oh bleach bleach bleach! but yeah, i liked them...the only thing is, they be slippin and slidin, but other than that, they were cool to me :)
What i really wanna talk about today, is technology...its takin over the freakin world!! no, like, it really is... i was watchin this thing on the history channel, about how technology has evolved in the past 15 years or so, and its just crazy. they are makin stuff so smart that they can actually do things with out the help of humans. they were even talkin about hoe furby's were banned in some government buildings. i was watchin tv, and i saw this thing called the irobot...
what the crap! didnt they have a movie called irobot about robots takin over??!! why dont humans understand that this stuff could come true? and the way we are headed, it is more and more of a possibility...
a simpler way of showing how technology is takin over, is the internet.
now most people that i know, mainly boys tho, are addicted to the internet in one way or another. wether it be facebook, myspace, youtube, or some other lame site, they are addicted. they can not go a day without checkin up on there messages, friend requests and all that other stuff. but how importnat is it all really? i for one have grown to hate the internet. at my job, there is nothing else to do but listen to customers bitch and moan, and get on the internet. since i am not trying to "get on" anybody, the internet seems to be pretty boring for me most of the time (and plus my connection is always slow then a mug so i have to wait like 10 minutes for a dang page to load). i have even tried making it more interesting by trying to make money online by being a text sex operator (lol, yeah they do that junk online people), which is surprizingly a very legit job! but my internet is just way too slow. but yes, the internet, a.k.a information superhighway, that is constantly expanding at an alarming rate everyday, has truly taken over many peoples lives in more ways than one.
on to a yet smaller form of technology takin over, the cellular phone. everybody has one these days, EVERYBODY! it seems like a nessecity, in which it usually is. but the advanced technology today has taken it to the next level, where there is so much more you can do with cell phones than just use it in case of emergency. the supposed "best" cell phone out to date is apple's iphone. no i do not endorse this product, although it is pretty cool. i personally dont think a phone should do all of that stuff, i mean, sure its all convenient and stuff, but it being a phone, and connected to a national service such as cingular or whatever company its with, it is not safe, and therefore can not be trusted. the mayor of my very own city, kwame kilpatrick (how'd he get a last name like that i'll never know), has shown the world just how devistating technology can be. they freakin exposed the mans private text messages!! that is now being used as evidence AGAINST him! what has the world come to when something that you think is private, safe and secure is now turning right around to bite you where the sun dont shine. tisk tisk tisk. i wish somebody would uncover some dang text messages i sent years ago and try to use it against me. ninjas is crazy!
but yeah, that just goes to show you, technology, expecially new technology, is not always your freind, and it truly can turn out to be something very harmful. and this is only the begginging (or however yuo spell that word). the human race will never be satisfied until we have a machine that does everything for us, cook, clean, work....think. just like they say curiosity killed the cat, convenience will eventually end up killing us off if you ask me.
but yall dont hear me tho!
anywho, two pieces of technology that i absolutly adore and suggest you run to go buy, are th ipod touch (which is not the IPHONE, and therefore safer...well, atleast i think so). and the blackberry pearl, which is just plain cute! but still people, be carefull how convenient you want your life to be....

Thursday, February 07, 2008

What i think is WRONG with the world

Basically, i have been thinking alot. about life. about why it is the way it is. why its a certain way for certain people, and where does all of this nonsense always come from. I have narrowed it down to one common factor. speaking of that, do yall remember least common factors???!! throwback!! anywho, what i think is wrong with the world today, is that everybody looks different. yes, that is where i think every single problem stems from. jelousy, rage, power, sorrow, poverty, fame, greed, infedelity, basically every problem you can think of... its all because we all look different. Think about it, its true! one of the biggest problems that the world faces is racism. different races of people come about because we are all born in differnt parts of the world which makes our skin color different. there are also many other distinct features that each particular race has. there are some poeple out there who think there are only two races, white and black. this black pather guy came into my store one day talkin bout that junk, makin me listen. man i tell you, when people get passionate about something, they wanna tell everybody and they momma about it...for hours! anyways, yeah, racism wouldnt exist if we all looked the same. nobody would be better than anybdy else, therefore, no one would be richer thatn anyone else. since everyone looked the same, no one would PROBABLY wanna cheat, therefore eliminating jelousy and all those other horrible traits that associate with that. people wouldnt be slef concious, there would be no need for make overs. everyone would have equal oppertunity for everything. well, i guess thats not gonna happen, but it is just a thought. and it is very powerfull to think how the way we all look has such an impact on all human life as we know it. it is very important that we understand this concept so we can grasp it, and manipulate it in our favor.

but whatever, i was just thinkin...

i am at work right now...these people keep comin in bothering me. i guess its not their fault, they just want to be helped. i just have too much stuff on my mind. like i hope i will not be stuck in this job for the rest of my pathetic little life. something big has to happend to me. i know it will, i just am very tired of waiting on it to happen. ironically enough, i believe it all starts with my looks. i am very skeptical about my skin right now. it is very bad. i absolutley hate every inch of it. that is what holds me back form a lot. that and the fact that im about 20 pounds underweight. i love my face, i love a lot of things about me. its just i know that for the profession that i wanna be in, i have to be perfect, or very close to it. i could see if i wanted a desk job, or some behind the scene type of thing, then i wouldnt care if i looked like puff the majic dragon, but i wanna be in front of the camera, on the tv screen, on the movie screen and red carpets, and maybe hanging on some peoples walls. i cant be llokin like this. i belive that once i am "fixed", things will get better almost instantaneously.... i will definalty have more confidence. other than all of that tho, it will just be....much better i think. i really cannot wait until i have my tv show an actual channel and people recognize me in the street, and i just start getting more famous as the days go by. it will really be great.

all those reading this blog now, i hope you remeber me just a little bit in this state that i am in will be very insightfull when i actualy do get really famous.

new picture time!!

Monday, February 04, 2008


Ok you guys, so when i left off, i had just ended a relationship with my flaming homosexual of a high school sweetheart. we never really officially broke up, but ya know, he didnt go to prom with me, so thats like an end to any relationship if you ask me. i went to prom ironically with my 9th grade boyfriend. i know right...weird!! but it kinda wasnt. the only thing was he wore like freakin purple and i was wearing hot pink, but who cares, i called him up the day of, so im just glad i had anybody to go with. when we got to the prom, he had to leave early. yes i was sad, yes i was depressed, yes i was feeling like all was wrong with the world! i managed to sulk around for the rest of the prom to wait for my best friend whitney. i rode to go out to eat with whitney and her date. luckily, my boy best friend, thomas had an underage date that night, so when he dropped her off at home, i moved on to my second date for the evening. we all went out to eat, which was cool, but nobody wanted to go home still....which is understandable! we eventually went to a hotel that whitney's date had co-purchased for prom night. whitney and her man werent that mad, i mean, they werent gonna do it or anything, i mean come on now, whitney? ha! anywho, as soon as i had walked into the hotel room, i noticed a few things. the first thing that i noticed was a boy named mike. now mike....mike, mike, mike...what can i say about mike. i had a class with mike my senior year (it was physics! freakin pysics! another science class!!! that is really freaky!). me and mike exchanged a few words. i guess i thought he was cute, but ya know, we never really talked like that so, whatever, but we definatly knew who each other was. i also noticed mike best friend, a bunch of other football players, and a boy named marc. now marc, i never really knew at all in high school, but from what i heard, he apparently went there, so ya know, i dont know. anyways, so everyone was gettin accuainted with everyone in the hotel room, everyone got to talking to each other about their nights. i began talking to mike. i got around to saying how horrible the prom was for me, my date was a complete mismatched recluse who left early, and he said how he had to end up going to the prom with his best friend because he didnt have any one to go with. yes, we both knew that we probably should have went together, but who knew. eventually, marc had followed me outside to "chat" i guess, his conversation was ok, more friendly tho, and less spicy than me and mike's conversation. marc had to leave tho, which gave more time for me and mike to get accuainted. i layed down on the bed next to mike ( and next to a bunch of other people because it was only 2 beds in the room and like 30 people, but it was fun tho). we flirted a little bit, i gotta admit. we all eventually went to sleep tho, nothing too major.

LMAO! in the middle of the night tho, whitney's mom was calling her asking where she was. apparently whit had lied about staying over a freiends house, so her mom came to get her from the hotel, come on whitneys mom, its prom! whitney asked did i need a ride. i really REALLY did not wanna leave, for many reasons, mike voulentered to take me home. such a sweetie! in the morning when i woke up for real, mike took me home in his rented all white 2005 mustang. we talked in the car, listened to music, and that was the end of it ya know. we graduated that following sunday or monday, so the gang was all hyped up. we had to celebrate. my post h.s. graduation posse consisted of me, whit, her man, and all of his football buddies, their groupies, a few other ninjas, and mike. we all went to the movies that day. i sat next to mike. i liked mike. he liked me too, i mean duh, look at me. mike was shy tho, very shy, so was i tho. but it was cool, we hung out so much that summer that we eventually got around to hanging out solo. we really connected me and mike. we became almost like best friends. one day, im not exaclty sure how it began, but the crew was hangin out at some park, me and mike stayed behind in the car, we werent talkin tho, i'll let you all figure out the rest,lol. that was a good day.

me and mike had a very hot ummm, sort of relationship, i dont wanna call it a summer fling tho because it continued, even when he went off to college. even after a year, and even after he came back from college the year after that, and still when he went back to college the second year. yeap, me and mike were tight. however, one major thing, we never actually went together. i mean, we did all the stuff that people who go together do, but we just didnt. we talked about it sometimes, but we just ended up....not together. i suppose neither one of us wanted to be in one. or atleast he didnt. i knew that he had other girls, it didnt bother me, he also knew i had MANY other guys, didnt bother him either... i liked that about us, kinda. but not really tho. i wanted to have an official relationship. he still didnt. i knew that he liked me, but he just did NOT wanna be with me like that. i figured i was doin somethin we i told him that i had someone in my life that i was about to start going with. i really thought that woudl spark something in him. something like, "hey!, i wanna be with bretony, and i dont want her to start going with somebody else! im gonna ask bretony to be my boo boo!"

it didnt happen like that at all. he was fine with me going with someone.

now you may ask, who is this "someone" i was thinking about going with? so there was this guy, tony. tony was a fan of my online videos. yes people, i have online videos, go check em ( *cough cough***) he wrote me on myspace about how he just thought i was sooo super talented, so fine, so amazing, so great, and yes, me being the girl i am, i ate it right up, yummy! we talked a whole lot. everyday. i really did like tony. and he definatly liked me, a WHOLE lot. more than any other boy had at the time. i eventually met tony, he came over my apartment to show me some of the films that he made and some of his art work, they were really very good. we ended up talking all night long until about 6 a.m. i think i went to sleep tho, i mean shoot, i be sleepy! i woke up tho, and we started talking again...but it was a more intimate talk. he told me all the things that a girl needed to hear, and i continued eating right out of his palm. i know what your thinking tho, HEX NO I DDINT DO IT TO HIM! what kinda jump off yall think i am??!! we just kissed! lol, but it was a good kiss tho. i really did like him a whole lot. i like his ambitions, i liked his drive, his passion, his liking for me, his humor, his talent, just everything! i thought he was perfect!

but i still thought about mike...

i still talked to mike everyday, i told him about tony. i dont think he took tony to be as much of a serious thing at first, but eventually, everyone got the picture when i ended up going with tony after about 2 months of knowing him, probably less than that. then everyone knew it was real. i talked to mike less and less. me and tony got closer, and in getting closer, i found out things about him. nad things. things i wish i didnt know, but hey. tony is a FREEEAAAK first of all...i mean, his porn addiction is enough for any girl to go crazy about, he constantly talks about other women, you know, the thick, vuluptous, curvascious ones....basically everything im not. it makes me feel bad. it makes me loose the confidence that i do have. he is very controlling, very demanding, argumentative as crap, but on top of all that, he's a cheater. yes that is right everyone, since i started going with tony, he has cheated on me over 6 physical times, one including sex in my very own bed. on top of everything tho, there's his ex girlfriend dionna (she gets no alias because i dont give a fuck about that hoe). the only, ONLY reason he stopped going with dionna is because she left for the army. other than that, it was his perfect woman. he claims all the time that she is nicer than me, more understanding, better looking, thicker, and overall a better woman who knows how to treat a man. but fuck all that.
i gotta admit tho, i did go up to spend the night at mikes apartment, but we didnt even touch each other, not even a hug. i guess me and mike have passed that stage. i realized that he didnt want to settle down, and i didnt want to have to deal with, his drama of not wanting to settle down. i am not one who like to lie about a lotta things, so i immediatly told tony where i was and how i was with mike, and to this very day, every wrong thing that he ever does, he equates it to that one freakin night that i spent with mike. eff, that, ya know what im sayin?! the last straw for all of that bull ish was a message that i found out that he had sent dionna, only a month ago actually! talkin about how she was the best thing that has ever happened to his life, and how as soon as she gets uot of the army he wants to eff her, impregnate her, and marry her. and then in 08, which is this year, they are gonna move to l.a. together. ofcourse when i confronted him about it, he had some bull ish excuse as always, but there really is no excuse for what i see with my own two freakin eyes! duh! matter of fact, you all can see it with your own eyes too, i forwarded the message to myself, so here it is, in its entireity:

(this is one of many)

----------------- Original Message -----------------From: ********* Date: Dec 29, 2007 12:28 PM
I CAN NOT stop thinking about you. But you know what I've been thinking of lately? DOIN' IT! HOW COME we can never do it?! As MANY chances as we've had, NEVER. Yet, you go over there and do someone in a HEARTBEAT. And I bet you've done like 3, 4 guys by now.But anyway, I've been jacking off ALOT lately to that tape we did during Murphy's play. Next time you come, I don't care WHAT WE HAVE TO DO, WE'RE DOING IT! We're devoting the ENTIRE DAY to FUCKIN'! I SWARE. I want you SO BAD. The DAY I see you, we're doing it, ok? (You'd BETTER address that) I mean, you don't even call to hold me down with the phone sex anymore... what the hell, Marie?! I thought you were my girl (You're prolly someone else's girl by now though....this is so sad)Anyways, I'm going to LA Jan.10th to get an Agent. Wish me luck.
--- and that was the complete, unretouched messages......

(here's another one i found that really hit a bad way. this one to some random schoochie mama)

"You're so sexy!!!!!!!I'm having relationship problems I want to talk to you about. I'm bored with my sex life. Because the girl I'm FORCED to be faithful to has NO ASS. And I FIEND for it. Like...NONE. Not even a regular girls ass. I at LEAST need a regular girls ass. Her thighs don't even touch. I never thought I cared about ass so much, untill now. I need a girl like you or ANY GIRL on this earth. I'm going to cheat, I know I am. What should I do?"

so you can see why i had to break it off im sure! it has been over ever since i confronted him about that, but it is still very tense because he hasnt moved out yet...but he is tho. even though it has been about 3 weeks, we still havent even hinted about gettin back together, so hopefully this time it is for good. ladies...please do not go down the same road i do. i know how hard it can be sometimes, and you feel like no one is on your side, but you really do just have to be strong and do what you have to do. it may be hard to belive, but there is some one out there who will treat you right. or atleast thats what im tellin myself...

i just wish i could find some virginal god fearing nerd, who just loves me and respects me, and honors me, and supports me, and doesnt have some perfect ex girlfriend, and who's not gay, and who wants to be with me and not "see what else is out there". is that sooo much to ask? why is that so hard to find? maybe i just need one big ole dating could be called "Broke of Love" and it could air on VH1 on sundays at 9.

I really need to get it together before i turn 21