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Thursday, January 31, 2008

so this is the WHOLE story yall....
Alrighty, my current relationship situation is less than perfect, I MUST say, so i would just like to share it with the internet world...or who ever is listening, and see what you all think. because right now, its just an uphill back and forth power struggle between me...and him.
Im gonna use some aliases to protect the identity of those closest to me. (lol sounded really offical right there, yes i know).
Im gonna start off my relationship history from the 9th grade, which is when i had my real first boyfriend. i was such a geeky a** quiet shy girl it wasnt even funny. i was also very insecure, even though now that i look back on it, i was fine! anywho, i had got transfered to a different sciecne class, and this boy named dion was in there. from the moment he saw me litterally, he sparked up a conversation. nothing to straight forward at first, just good friend conversation. it eventually evolved into, "oh bretony, i have this letter for you that i want you to read"...i read it, and it was very...presumptuous for lack of better words. he wanted me, and bad. i didnt understand it. i really didnt know what to do about it. i mean, he was nice and everything, but he was very very short. and i just didnt know how to handle having a legit boyfriend. i turned him down the first time. the second time, and time and time after that. i turned him down an awful lot now that i think about it. but that boys middle NAME was persistance. one day, i finally gave in for two reasons, one to shut him up, and two, to get over my very first boyfriend fear. it was cool at first, i thought having a boyfriend would end some of the tension between us. it didnt. little did i know that with a boyfriend, came boyfriend and girlfriend "stuff" you had to do. he walked em to all my classes, we hugged in the hallway, we skipped classes together. he even wanted a kiss! i was like HEX naw. i had never done anything like that before. ( i know i know, i was in the freakin 9th grade and hoochie mama's my age were already doin it and crap, but hey what can i say, i lived a very sheltered christian life okay??!!) Anywho, so yeah, all this crazy drama i had to encounter all the time, i just wasnt cut out for it i guess...luckily tho, my sister got married when i was in the 9th grade and my whole family flew out to california for about 2 weeks! yay! man that was so fun **reflecting**. but yeah, it really gave me a break form all of my new found high shcool drama, and by the time i got back, the school year was pretty much almost over. i broke up with dion on the last day of school. he was mad. but hey, he was getting kicked out for grades anyway, i figured i wasnt gona see to much of him. we did however keep in contact over the summer, then we kinda sorta went back together, then we broke up again...weird, i know right?
10th grade i had a dry spell...
11th grade, i was back in action, witha new hair cut ( which is another story in itself), a new additude, a new team i was on (the majorettes), and a new science class! (weird but true, yet another hook up in a science class). his name was lamar. lamar sparked up conversation with me right off the back, just like dion had done only 2 years before. also again, it was meerley on a friendship level. i really liked lamar. he was kinda cute, tall(ler than dion), and he was funny and had a very lively personality (at times a little TOO livley). he claimed he knew me from the marching band, because he played the drums. i had no idea who he was. he did however have a "girlfriend" when i frist met him, which was kind of a crush at the time because i really liked him yall! i didnt care about that scootchy hoe!
all me and him did in class was pass notes back and forth, that was our thing. freindly at first, then they turned to how he was having problems in his "relationship". i tried to console the best i could by tellin him to kick her to the curbside ya know! he eventually did. SOON after that, im talkin like probably a day or two, he asked me to go with him. i initially said no beacuse hey, well, thats kinda my thing, sayin no and all. he asked me like one more time tho, i for some strange reason i said yes. i know it was terribly too soon, for both me and him to jump into something so...sudden. it was aight tho. we kept our relationship a super secret from almost everybody at first, only certain people knew about us in our very first stages. i mean, what can i say...it was just basically good. we never really argued or anything like that. we were just like freinds who had the title boyfriend and girlfriend. we didnt really do anything different. i think we kissed tho. yeah we did. wait no we didnt, not then. we hadnt kissed yet. anywho, i felt that he still had some feelings for his little hoodrat ex, which all men do, i could write a whole book about that ish. she went to the same school as we did and everything, so he had access to her. he claimed they were just "friends" now. blah! so yeah, all of a freakin sudden, thig nig goes back with his ex, who is NO comparisson to me at all, like what the heck man. but yeah, went back with her. so ofcourse it was werid because we were still in the same class right. sat next to each other and everything. all kinds of werid! we still talked i guess tho, still were in the marching band together. it was just so much drama with this boy, but we eventually got to talkin about us yet again. we talked about how he made a mistake going back with her, he just did it because he was scared of change and all that nonsense. i knida belived the little sucker tho. we worked through our differences and we started sneakin around behind her back for a while. and THAT ladies and gentlemen, is when i had my first kiss... HA!
he eventually had to break it off with the girl, and we were together for another year after that. it was pretty good, but he turned out to be a big gay mess...literally.
but im off work, so i will continue this tomorrow!!

Monday, January 14, 2008

A New Segment of Life...


Well....I thought i was finally gonna get a chance to break free from the stresses of my evil job. Even if i had no other options of a job to go to, even though i still had my rent do, even if i still had to support myself, atleast i wasnt gonna get oppressed my "the man" anymore. or so i thought. low and behold, the old manager of the store i use to work at bought his own store in the mall... he heard that i had been let go...he offered me a job at his store.

now i know exactly what you all are thinking out there. why would i go back if i hated it so much right? well, one of the main reasons that i did infact hate the job so much was my irrational tyrant of a boss, along with other things ofcourse, but he was really the main reason. the other guy who sort of ran things, danny, was much nicer than him, maybe even a pushover...so that is why i accepted yet another job at metro pcs.

ho hum.

so yes people, that is where i am to this very day. for right now it is. but i honestly have to say, it is one of the worst things in my life. being in customer service stresses me out so much to the point where i barely have enough time, strength or energy to do much of anything else i want to do with my life. i could go on and on about the stories that i have accumulated, just form this past year alone... but im gonna save that for my first documentary called "the customer is always right", and then you guys can check that out.but im tellin you man, its deep. its real deep.

i belive that if i had a different job at a different place doing a diferent thing, hopefully something toward the advancement of what i really want to do in the future, which is be a succesfull buisness woman with my own television network, fashion line, modeling career, and be an academy award winning actress. how can i accomplish all of this working at a mere cell phone store all my life?? how? i cant! no one can. that is why when people are past a certain age, and still working in the same job that they've had for years, they get comfortable, they get adjusted, they are scared to branch out, they are scared to go anywhere else. so they stay. and they stay . and then they stay some more, until finally, they are old as heck and they cant do anything else with their meaningless pathetic little lives. and then they just live to get by.

yes it is true i get by now, but dont get me wrong people, i am not just living to get by. i am living to get to my dreams.