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Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Go Vote!!!

yay! and i will be back later to tell you about stuff! aight peeps! mwah!

Thursday, October 09, 2008


mmkay peeps, so uhh...looks like this stupid job is really about to get the boot this time. im kickin it to da curb FA REAL!! they are starting to really get on my last ones...talkin bout they have to take all this money outta my check when FIRST of all, they dont pay me hardly enough to begin with, AND i been workin here for 2 years with NO raise, wtf?!!!

in light of that crazy nonsense, i figured i'd dedicate this blog to my stupid job and all the stupid stuff that annoys me about it. i hope you enjoy! :)

- i hate people who come in here to get their phones charged, yet every five minutes they ask to see their phone just too look at it and see if some one called... if you dont get outta here with that bull i will throw your stupid little ghetto phone in the TRASH...and not think twice.

- how do you not know your own phone number??! you dont call yourself is NOT a good excuse, you give that sh*t out dont you?!

- once you buy what you buyin, or pay your bill, GTFO! i got ish to do, i cant just be there lookin at you while you look thru yo purse and call yo 5 baby daddies!

-no i cant give you no discount, who the f*ck are you?!

- i really dont need to know all your personal background/history/information...just tell me what kind of PHONE you want, anything else, i dont give a damn

-control yo kids!!

- i understand that this customer service and all, but got damn! dont come in here wanting me to give yo a** cell phones 101... im only gonna help you with so much... im not bout to sit up here and teach you the history of cell phones and how they work when there are other customers in the store you inconsiderate piece of b.s....sheesh

- dont try to hit on me when there are other people in the store who ACTUALLY need help.

- if i tell you somethin, dont tell me im wrong! mutha f*cka i work here!

- i am not responsibile for your lil punk a** phones...if something happens to them, dont be gettin mad at me!

- when i open the register to give you your change, dont tell that you have the change, and THEN ask me to break a 20, and THEN give you 4 quarters for a dollar... i aint bout to be gettin confused over you. take that somewhere else boo, tha hell you think this is?

-(for my boss) dont call me at 3:45 talkin bout im gonna be an hour late when im supposed to be gettin off at 4! just because YOU aint got iah to do dont mean i dont

- spit it out! dont take all day tryna tell me somethin! you have that figured out BEFORE you get in here, k?

- fat people, PLEASE dont come in my store grubbin on a 5 piece chicken meal, wit hot sauce drippin from yo fat nasty fingers and crumbs all over your fat mouth tryna ask me questions. first of all, you look trife, so why dont you sit yo big a** down and eat like a normal person and stop tryna eat everywhere you go like a fat sloppy shamu, and second, a b*tch is hungry! i dont wanna see you eatin when i dont get off til 4! tha hell?!

- i am not bored. i do not need you in here talkin me to death about random nothing for hours on end...find someone else to stalk you lame.

- dont come in here on yo cell phone, and then when i say hello, tell ME to hold on. b*tch you came in HERE...if you wasnt done wit yo hoe a** conversation why even bother me?

- dont come in the store at 8:55 when we close at 9, and what all this extra special crazy i cant switch your phone number, change you billing date, upgrade your phone and add you to a family plan, come back tomorrow for that b.s.....preferably when im not here...

- if you're paying someone else's bill, dont whip out your more expensive phone to get the number just to show me what kinda phone you got...does it even LOOK like i APPEAR to give a damn? well guess what, i really dont.

there are many more things im sure, but this was just a little rant lol, hope you all have a better job than i do. if you dont, tell me about it!!


Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Are You a Liar?

which is a dumb question right? everyone is a liar. and for those of you who like to think you arent, think again, because you probably are.
now what defines a liar you may ask? simple. some one who tells a lie. which im sure everyone has done before. nobody like liars tho. i mean hey, i dont. but the fact of the matter is, people lie. its like in our blood, its human nature. there are however differant levels of lying i belive...the one who just do it maliciously are the ones that people are so quick to label as the liars, when even simple liars or fibbers should be called out just the same, but nobody thinks about those now do they. it doesnt matter if you are telling the lie just to protect someones feelings, or probably more than likley, protect yourself, its all the same.

the bible says we shouldnt lie. but did the bible know how freakin hard it is not to lie?! sheesh! well....they DID say bare false witness...hmmm, maybe thats a differance. maybe there is a certain form of lying that is acceptable? maybe some lies are justified? i really dont know, but its all very confusing. i nkow that some of you reading this dont even wanna admit to yourself that you are filthy little liars, all of you! but i will be the first to say, that yes. yes i do lie! ok! so nail me to a cross... i really do try not to at any possible chance that i get, but ya know....lies are just so much easier than the truth to give, and recieve. and i can also admit, that sometimes i dont mind being lied to...there are somethings that i just dont want the truth about because it would hurt too much... does that sound weird? i know it may sound a little strange, but that is just how i feel...

i know the name of this blog is bretony speaks the truth lol, and that fact has remained true, i have never lied in this blog.... that may be due in part to the fact that i know certain people in my life dont read my blog... only those who have absolutly nothing to do with it. that is why i feel safe in revealing my truth to you all on here.

idk peeps, its all very confusing. sometimes i think i should just right all my wrongs and start telling everyone the truth. but then again, if i told the truth about EVERYTHING i've ever done...i would probably be in jail or something seriously, i would. like, seriously. but thats another story for another day :)
point is. i know that lying is wrong...but, ya know! i feel like some lying is necessary. i feel like some isnt. its up to us to decipher what is best. sigh. i know its not gonna be easy. to tell you the truth, its better just to not get your self into situations where you would feel you need to lie about anyway, because if thats the case, you know you're doing something wrong...and thats just....wrong.

welp! guess thats it fer now, holla at meh babies!

Monday, October 06, 2008


hey everybody. umm, i guess i cant exactly do this thing blog every SINGLE day, but eh, im just gonna do it whenever i get on the yea!

what i want to talk to you all about pretty much nothing lol.

well actually it is a couple of things.

1.) if im gonna be writting in this dang blog (kinda) everyday, then yall mutha effs better read this ish! and comment too, because i read all the comments and respond to some lol...but seriously tho, i need to get some feedback up in here or else im gonna be too sad and depressed to write anymore :(

2.) im not gonna try to get all political on everyone, but i have to say a couple of things about this "election". what some mccain voters fail to realize is that, if and WHEN mccains old self dies, which is highly likely since he is like 90 years old and all, that crazy lookin ditz sarah palin is going to be RUNNING the COUNTRY!! like making all of the decisions.... do you all really think thats in americas best interest? shoot, steven colbert would be better off...atleast he can make us laugh. but i do have something to say about obama too... obama is just too much of a trend for me. it seems like even if people arent necesarily(sp) sure about voting for him, they just go along with the treand. i mean, this guy practically has his own clothing line, may as well have a record label, and he is endorsed by almost all of the major celebrites... why? because he's freakin hot, black, and swagged out. yes, obama is swagged out, so everyone loves him...he may as well cut an album...

3.) speaking of albums, im mad wheezy has another one out ._.

4.) i really need to for real. im trying to hold out until i get some money together for myself, because everyone i try to get to move with me is just sooo not trying to uproot their life. but thats cool tho. im kinda actually thinking about just moving with the money that i do have...which is really nothing...and just seeing what happens. eh, all i know is, i am DEFINATLY not staying here past this year. but i think im have to atleast stay here until election time so i can get my vote on, nah mean!

5.) life is funny. very funny. (this is about to get real vauge, but just bare with me)

i really want something. but its too far away from me...its funny how the things we think are best for us can be so hard to obtain. its bold how we cant just have everything we want when we want it. its bold how we want certain things but other circumstance prevent us from having it. why cant life just be black and white? my life is 99% grey...and thats effed up. there are too many crazy decisions i should be making that i just....dont. if my life were a car, i would be on cruise control most of the time. i would probably be a drunk driver too. i havent had any major car accidents yet, just a few minor fender benders. but my greatest fear isnt injuring myself...its injuring someone else. i wouldnt be able to live with myself.

my life is pretty random, yes in deed. i guess i kinda like it like that tho. it usually works out in my favor, and usually what i want, i get. it might not be as soon as i want to have it, but trust me, if i want it bad enough...its mine :)

..and i think i like that factor of my life.

because the thing i want right tellin, its really REALLY good :)
it makes me smile everytime i think about it... but i have to test it out first. but im pretty sure its everything i want...

and that is all folks! i will holler l8ter.... for dat azzz!!!

Saturday, October 04, 2008


Ya know what? im really thinkin about doing this blog thing more often...its actually kinda fun sometimes. when i have time to do it that is. most of the time it might not really be about anything in particualr, but just to keep everyone up to date on what things are lookin like in my life. becuase i admit! my facebook messages are getting pretty backed up, as are the myspace, and dont even get me started on youtube. point is, i really REALLY dont have time to respond to every single person on all those things...especially when all they basically ask is "whats up" (which i hate by the way).

soooo, i will just direct everyone here to my blog! yay!

today peeps, i am at work ofcourse. i have to go somewhere after work to work as a hostess for this party thing a majig type situation which i really dont know what is...all i know is i dont have a ride there and i get off work at 4 and i have to be there at 3, BUT HEY! i go with the flow, so i know everything will werk out lol.

i've come to a realization too, i like to argue. i mean, i REALLY like to argue. i thrive off of arguments. i usually dont respond to people unless they are going against something i say... its like calling hancock an a**hole (yes i make a lot of movie referances, get over it!!). its just so hard for me not to say anything back because i feel like im always right...which i usually myself atleast, which i think is all that matters right? yeap, thats all that matters!

i have alot of weird dreams. sometimes im not even in my own dreams, which are the weirdest dreams if you ask me. i usually try to write down the weirdest ones because thats just how effin interesting those muther effs are! i had one dream where i was hiding out in this room, i think from a robber or something, and there was this other guy hiding who was with me. we knew that the robber was about to come in the room so we formulated this makeshift plan to attack him: he was gonna be the bait and i was gonna be standing behind the door to hit him in the head and then the guy was gonna help me tie the robber up. so we were waiting for him to come in and all, and then he finally did, and the robber saw the guy laying there and so i hit him in the head and he stumbled a little and i called for the other gut to help me, but guess what?!
....this fool was sleep!!! i was like what the eff!
so anyway, i had to finish takin matters into my own hand and what not, and i just kept hitting the robber very hard, as hard as i could. then i started to bash his head into the wall and i saw blood comming out. but i didnt stop, i kept hitting it against the wall, then i heard and saw his skull cracking. then there was blood everywhere and he limped over lifelessly into a pile on the floor and i just remember standing there like wow, i just totally killed this dude.

see!! interesting! i have many more interesting dreams that i might share some other time, trust me, they are good.

umm, guess i'll go back to uhh...stupid work. which is stupid and dumb and retarded and remidial and all of the above synonyms and euphamisms for stupid...


aight doe! holla!

Friday, October 03, 2008


and just like the formatting of the title...i am trying to get centered (corny? yes. i know this)

i am at work, as i always am when i write my not bout to be proofreadin this sh*t cuz yall know what the f*ck i mean...well most of the time you do. if you dont...ask me, i mean dang, is that so hard to do? ask somebody somethin?

for future referances, mostly to myself, its not good to write blogs at the moments when you feel the most emotional...because you dont know what you type. ish gets hectic!

i want some french fries. random i know, but i do.

you see people, im tired of writing these depressing a** blogs. im tired of trying to share my deep opinional thoughts about things that im feelin and people just judge the crap outta me. its whatever tho. i try to maintain.
see! just lost my train of thought cuz some customers came in! smh

anywho... like i was saying


dangit! just happened again. i swear one day imma just write about what happens in this store...

ANYWHO, im gonna try to write about more happy things and maybe ninjas wont be all up in MINES like they know whats goin on up in here when CLEARLY they dont...sheesh.

i aint really tryna make friends, but i darn sure aint tryna make enemies. i keep it real easy going. i dont come at people telling them about themselves. atleast not individually i dont, so i dont really expect other people to do that. but ya know, people are gonna be people. yes we are all differant, to a degree, but genrally i know how you people are, so i guess i cant really get mad at it. i just roll. i roll a lot. i wish i had a roll...with butter. popeyes has the best biscuts in the whole world. ahhh, happy place :)

i have been traveling alot. dont really know how cuz im stll broke then a mug. im going to miami area on the 10th to the 15th. i know im gonna have fun, even though im going by myself. yes by myself because my friends arent as care free as me and they have all these lame excuses like school, work, and being broke. i on the other hand could give two craps about my job. i hope they fire me. but yea, miam, woot woot. after that, hopefully i will be on to my final destination...

not like that! lol!

but the place i will be living...which is porbablt gonna be either new jersey, new york (praying!), or chicago (eww i know right?)

but whatever it will be, i know it will be good, and my life will be good, and everything will be gnarley (yes, im bringing gnarley back).

ok peeps! time for me to get off work and go home to no internet, no tv, and a couple bottles of some form of alcohol(im 21, so scru yew!)...ttyl!!


p.s. janet jacksons concert was off the effin chain! i love janet!!!!!

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Bretony has a big head

With lots of things in it. I always have something to say, but the real question is, how do i word it so that people...simple people...which most people are, can understand. i really dont mean to offend anyone, i also dont want to come off as mean or rude, but people...people, people, people.
i really dont like most of you... and if you really take deep look at yourselves, you probably wouldnt like you either.

i just dont know you guys, some of you are cool some days, but the general human race is just so...ugh.

boys are one track minded and weird, girls are hookers and hoes who steal your man and gossip about you, everyone is for themselves and never about anyone else. this world is all effed up.

i was watching the history channel the other day, i love that channel, and they were talking about how the earth was formed and junk...all 7 billion years agoish. Back then, the earth went through a heck of a lot of changes. very very slow changes. they said tht it rained for millions of years, they said the all the continents use to be one big super continent, which name started with an R, i forgot tho...they said that near russia there were volcanoes erupting for millions of years...then i gues one day the earth finally calmed down and became half way decent so thet humans could actually live a life. it was all just very interesting. and i began to think about change (no barak obama). maybe some changes have to occur slowly for them to actually make a differance. all changes cant be fast and instant. rome wasnt built in a day! (lol at my vaugeness). i know this is all a bunch of random nothingness right now, but hey...our minds are random nothingness. especially mine.

over the weekend i saw eagle eye. the movie about the government? yes. i hate the government. ss everyone should. it is so freakin corrupt that i dont even...whatever (mean girls,lol...if you dont get it you're lame). that movie goes to show you that the government doesnt really give 2 craps about the american people, or any other people for that matter. its all about money and power. let me tell yall somethin...america is suppose to be in this huge "deficit" or something right? but i mean, what the heck...that money just didnt disapper! so where the heck is it? where did all this money go? 700 billion dollars? come on now people...that is like...way too much to just not be around anymore...

america is slow man i swear. SOMETHIN needs to change i suppose, but i dont think its gonna take affect anytime soon. its gonna one of those gradual, earth making changes that takes many years... blah

and see people, that is why i just live my life one day at a time, however it comes to me, thats how i live it. i see waay too many people everyday so stressed, so worried about the future that they forget about living thier life today. im freakin young...21 years old! i cant afford to be stressed. you get wrinkles like that :(

i know that my life may seem a bit radical and fickle to those on the outside looking in, but i like it for the most part. do i wish i had more money to spend? ofcourse! but do i wish i was a slave to "the man"? to be a slave to the governments form of paid education (college)? no! im am far better off being a hippie :)
i have a friend who works 2 jobs...on opposite sides of the universe. he never gets a chance to hang out anymore. i always tease him about being a slave. his argument is "so, atleast im gettin money"...but are you enjoying your life tho? not at all...

checks and balnces people...gotta have em.

sorry about saying i hate people earlier...i really actually do lol, maybe its cuz i work in customer service and i am easily annoyed, but thats neither here nore there... i lvoe you all sometimes. i just wish you wouldnt act so dumb and get on my nerves...

bretony's tip for the day: dont get on peoples nerves, dont act stupid, dont try to be a player, hoe or flusey, and people will like you waaay better.

if you dont know, ask somebody. and thats some truth for ya bichess!!!

(dang this was long :/ )

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Stupid Government...

first thing i wanna say is, if the government removes this, i will sue! you dirty muther fudges....

anywho, i just wanna say to the punk a** government that i KNOW you have cures for practically every disease! I KNOW that you have the cure for cancer, aids, the common cold, and many many other things that people in the world struggle with...

but why arent we receiving these said "cures"? i will tell you why people, because the government needs to keep the economy in a state of rich getting richer, and poor dying and getting poorer. if cures were just handed out all willy nilly, even if people paid for the cures...they are CURES people, CURES! countless doctors, surgeons, hospitals, would be out of jobs, out of money! once a problem is completely resolved there are no need for the solvers. so that is why my friends, we have so much sickness in the world... that is why, we need to educate ourselves and find the cures ourselves and spread the word! we need to stop this demonic machine known as "the government" before it destroys us all.

we need to speak out, we need to take a stand together and fight for what we want. obama? change? there is only so much "change" one man can implement... the government is still corrupt, and some punks!

and dont even get me started on war... war??? wtf!

what are these wars even about anyway? like seriously....

no, like seriously, i really dont know. there is no need for so much destruction, so much chaos, so much eye for and eye, "you hit me so i have to hit you back".

for the u.s. to be the most powerful nation in the country, the government sure is full of marks...

but hey, who am i, just a girl with a voice, an opinion...

i will not be silenced!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Prejudice?? nah. Stereotypes?? true.

Hello everyone, tis your favoritest blogger ever in the whole wide world, Bretony! holler! been gone for a minute (now im back at the jump off (lol, lil kim joke)), but yeah, im back, so chill!

but seriously tho people, I always have a lot of things on my mind, so many ideas, so many thing i want to write, but you know something sucky? i dont have the internet at my house anymore. booo... i really dont know what it is, but maybe those bogus rich mofos across the street cut off their wifi internet sharing or something... but thats cool cus i dont need them anyway!
But now i guess i just have to write blogs when i can... oh yeah! and for everyone wondering about my videos, they will be some bretony footage sooner than you think! the good news is, i got a new camera, so yay, the thing is now i have to figure out an approach to get back into this video thing... im not sure wether i should pick up where i left off, make an update video, start a new season, just confusion all up and through, but when i figure it out, it'll be on and poppin sistas and bruthas!

But enough of all the tomfoolery, the topic of todays discussion may be a serious one for some. it is about prejudice, racism and stereotypes...

I will begin by explaining a couple of things that have been on my mind latley, racism is an on going topic that people of all races and nationalities just love to debate over. i can agree that racism still exists today within some people and i guess there is nothing that we can do about it to a certain degree. but the thing is, racism is different in everyones eyes. some people are so quick to call people out on being racist, and excuse me for being racist, its usually black people.

now before yall go all malcom x, hear me out. i got some black in me, obviously, and i guess when i or any other mixed race person starts out by identifying themselves as so, then it makes everything a little easier to listen to, which is i think b.s.

black people and mixed people can get away with more things than any other race can when talking about "their own", which is in a way, a little hypocritical to me. yet white people who even joke about anything that can be remotely racist, are full on klu klux klan members or sumthin, and like completely shunned from the black community for life. im sorry, but i just think thats a tad unfair. black people make hella racist comments towards white people, but its ALWAYS taken as just a joke, no matter what. dont get em wrong, there are still some white people in this world who think like the white people of slavery time, but for the most part, the world is getting more and more mixed. im not defending either side, but i do see that black people are becoming the more prevalent slanderers.

another thing, stereotypes. now there are many stereotypes in the world (and i actually kinda hate typing that word, so im just gonna abbreviate it as s.t.). there are s.t's for every race in fact, but there are some that people actually get mad at or take offense to as if....they're not true! i mean, 9 times out of 10, they are true! and it seems like, nobody really makes that much of a deal out of it people.

nappy head. yes! most of you black people have nappy a** hair! i mean shoot, i do! im not about to get mad at someone for saying my hair is nappy when it is. i wouldnt consider that racist, i would consider it the truth. another s.t., black people tend to be waaay more confrontational. which is very annoying in fact. it seems like black people are always mad at the world. they are quick to get in arguments and start fights. i suppose that is in the nature of the people, but its true still, dont fight it. maybe white people are a little nicer, more approachable, more composed... and that may be due to the fact that they tend to have better jobs, and a better up bringing in general, but still tho, you cant deny the anger...

i dont know people, its just very frustrating sometimes. i understand the fact that racism still exists today. i understand that there are still inequalities and injustices amoung the races and directed toward the black community. i understand ok, but sheesh.

i mean, just sheeesh. does anybody else feel me on this? racism should not control your life, nor should it ruin it. if you dont like the s.t's, then change! change the ones you can! if you dont want to, if you still wanna be all defensive and quick to call everyone a racist, then i mean hey, thats what your gonna keep getting...

i suppose im done right now, i mean, i could go on, but i just wanna see what other people think about yeah, lemme know peeps! black and white peeps...
(mostly white peeps, we hardly ever hear your side about this)

if ya dont know, ask...somebody...preferably me....

cuz i speak da trufffs!


Saturday, June 28, 2008

STORY TIME!!! YAY!!! (Rated PG-13)

once upon a time there was a girl named B, who thought she had a really tough decision to make, but then suddenly one day, it all became so clear to her. She awoke one night to find a person she was contemplating about giving a confession to her. a very deep confession. now (ha!) first of all, this contemplated person was supposedly in love with B. or so she thought. everyday since contemplate had moved to a far away land, her wrote B messages all the time exclaiming his love and admiration and asking B to run away with him to the far away land so they could live happily ever after. B however was not so sure about all of this. B just wanted to be treated right, and contemplate had treated her very bad in the past...and even had sex with an evil toad! (amoung many other things)...

however! B had a glimmer of hope, just a little bit. She decided to wait and see a while. a long time had pased before contemplate had returned to rescue his fair B. but this is where the horrid confession came in that made everything clear to B....

contemplate had stated simply, that he had sex with an asain toad named later! not one, but many times... and this asain toad had even lived with contemplate, and li li li li licked his lollipop every morning...this has always been a dream of contemplate's. i guess he finally got it.

but oh, contemplate thought that it wasnt that big of a deal, and that he only confessed it at the particular moment is because he wanted B to confess sexing a toad as well. But B had not done so.

contemplate said that he was going to tell B after she had made her decision to come to the far away land. how horrid! B knew then that her decision had been made clear for her. handed to her on a silver platter from God himself. B told contemplate that they could never ever be.

the moral of this story is, im moving to new jersey, and i hate asian toads.....and the word now.

good bye everyone!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Bretony's Problem...(Bretony doesn't always speak the truth)
Yes people, Bretony is flawed just like the rest of you are, but see with me, i admit it...i can admit when something is not right...when i need to change something. however, acknowledgement (sp) is only the beginning...that is the easy part. The hard part is actually doing somthing about your problem. i am here today to admit one of my biggest and worst charecter flaws that only ends up destroying everything in my life, yet somehow makes others lives better (paradoxal, i know!).... name is Bretony McGee....and i am a people pleaser :(
tis true, tis true... i always find myself putting other peoples feelings ahead of my own. i would rather see someone else happy even if it made me sad. i love to help people in anyway i can. i may complain to myself, but never to them. another thing is.....sigh.....sometimes i dont tell the whole truth all the time to protect peoples feelings. i know i know! very bad! im supposed to be keepin it real up in here! i really do need some psychological help. thats why i was going to school for i can psychologize myself all up and through!
but yeah yall...the reson im saying all of this now is becuase, i cant really focus on my life like i want to because im so busy thinking about other people's feelings and what not. the situation im in now, its like...huh...this guy right, he's an ex... in fact i talked about him a couple blogs ago, but anywho, he reeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllly wants to be with me right, and he wants me to move out of town with him and like have a family and all that crazy jive.... but see the thing heart is not in it at all. i tried to break up with dude oh so many times. he just keep coming back dog! the last time i told him that we couldnt be together, he really went nuts and was on some real "i wanna die" stuff. i may have led him on a little after he thinks theres hope yet and still. i mean, he's cool and everything...i did love him once upon a time. hes been makin all these crazy promises and junk....everything a girl wants to hear! but im still not 100%. so now the choice arizes... either make him a very happy man, and me a very skeptical/cynical woman, or me happy being me, finally free from him and him being a heaping pile of depression for who knows how long.
in my heart i know what i have to do. i just reeeeeaallly dont want to. eh. life will go on for us all no matter what. my advice to everyone is, be true to yourself most importantly. you are the main person that matters. everyone else will just have to deal with whatever you do. secondly tho, be real with people. be up front about things so that they wont escalate to a place that you definatly do not want them to be. because that my just....not good, not good at all. trust me.
anywho peeps, pray for me, as i will pray for you. keep it real. keep it pimpin. dont know, ask somebody, blah blah blah. dueces!!
a girl who worked at my job, not really MY job, but i work in the mall and so did she, that i kinda sorta knew a little bit, died last week and i just found out. i mean, i didnt really KNOW her know her like that, but she said hi to me every day and she use to come in and talk to me, and she was like my age and all that stuff. i dont really know people who die tho, so its kinda still shocking to me. the guy who told me said she was shot. that is so messed up. r.i.p jazmine....

Monday, June 16, 2008


hello everyone. sigh.I get a tad pissed off from the internet sometimes. why you may ask? because some of the biothces on here have some really nasty a** internet personas, or introna's as i like to call them (lol, yes i make up words sometimes). ESPECIALLY in online forums on certain particular websites.

example... i was on a website last night i wont give the name or anything, but i posted a forum topic simply stating my opinion on a particular matter. I guess i offended a large group of people or somthing becuase like everyone in the entire thread was just coming at me so wrong and like taking personal cheap shots at me subliminally calling me ugly and saying that i couldnt dance and how in one of my pictures it look like i was performing fellatio....i was just so... i dont even know... but then i thought about it like...these mutha f*ckas wouldnt be comin at me like this at all if we were anywhere else outside the internet world. people feel safe on the internet in that way atleast. they can be whoever they want to be.... and pretty much, most people just wanna be rude, a** holes, and sleezey pervs. i mean like why do you people wanna be all fake on here? who are you really tryin to impress?? are you trying to be online popular because you cant be in real life? is your real life/ personality not good enough that you have to alter a whole new one for the internet?i mean come on people...

i try to be the same everywhere i am. including here on the internet. i am a free spirited girl who doesnt take too many thing too seriously. yes i get irritated by harmless things people do and say, but i do not make it my goal to be a smart a**, rude a** b word to people on here for saying what they have to say... i am very open minded to a lot of things and opinions, and i belive that others should be like that too... i also dont think that people should act all bossy as hell on the internet when you know good and well in real life you a** is scary as heck.

and to those who actually are like that in real life. smh @ you. get a better/new personality.

my point in saying all of this, the internet is a great place to make cool friends from all around the world. you could really learn and experience alot and there are many oppertunites to be had on here... dont go and ruin it by being all bitchy. just be cool! be cool... that is my best advice.and also, just be your friggin self. im sure you all are good enough people on the inside to just be nice. no harm can come from being curtious. i hope some people read this and understand what im saying and where im coming from....cuz its da trufe!and if you dont know, betta ask me bout it! holla

(comment posted about my "bretonylicious" video on youtube, which is totally harmless... but they compared it to badly executed stripper moves.....and thats not even what the thread was about! talk about a cheap shot! )

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

are you happy??

Cuz Im not sure if I really am right now.... everyday is just routine. i wake up, go to work, barely work, be mad at people, then come home, try to clean up, get on the internet, maybe watch tv, and then go back to sleep and do it all over. This is NOT how i expected any part of my life to be you guys... but the sad part about it, is I know people out there who are doing the exact same thing, and they think there is nothing they can do.

Everybody has a dream, well hey, maybe some people dont, i dont know...but thats just really lame if you dont. Some people have more than one dream, but some only have one. and they figure to themselves, "if i could just do that one thing that i love doing for the rest of my life, i would be happy..." and that is very lovely to imagine! but the reality of things is, if everyone was doing what they loved, then there would be no one to do the things that NEED to be done. like run gas stations. and be a trash man. do you really think that those trash men love being trash men? come on now, what do you think? but if they were doing what their actual passion in life was, who would collect the garbage? so basically, the bottom line, point of my story thing is, everyone can not be happy.

sad but true! i know right! so then another questions arises...who is to determine who are the happy ones and who are the workers? we do people, we do. the position in life that i am in right now is 100% my fault. i can blame it on whoever i want to, but the fact of the matter is, it really is up to me what i do with my life, as well as what im CURRENTLY doing with it. but i dont know you guys, a lot of factors come in to play too...

i admit, that i am a person infatuated with looks, i wish i wasnt, but its a curse. i feel that there is strong correlation between a.) the way a person looks b.) how happy they are, and c.)how successful they are in life

there are exceptions to this correlation, but for the most part, I find it to be true. all the pretty b*tches are usually always keeping up with their looks and what not, always staying fabulous looking, because they are so pretty that people give them money. you NEVER would see a drop dead gorgeous person in a welfare offive sittin down somewhere tryin to fill out some paper work....people would look at her like she was crazy. its just flat out easier man! and you know its true! also, when people look better, they are treated better....fellas, lets say you worked at a clothing store...and a seemingly "ugly" girl walked in, but then right behind her, a pretty girl walked in. now who would you be more willing to help? come on now! and since the ugly girl knows that you're giving all of your attention to the pretty girl, ugly will be sad...then ugly girl will go home and reflect on her meaningless life... and so yes people, their cycle of depression continues...

another factor that also comes in to play for me is fear. fear of a lot of things really...mainly fear of if i will end up chosing the right thing to do at a particular moment. there is a great poem, i forgot who it was by, i think robert frost or something...its called 'the road not taken' (seriously, look it up and read it). its like the freakin story of my life man! it basically says that in life we have major choices we have to make, adn we can either go down one road or the other, but after we go down that one road, it is hard, if not impossible to return to the same point and go down the other road to see what you missed, you just have to make the best decision you can based on as far as you can see. there is some statistic out there that says people make an average of about....(well i forgot the ACTUAL number, but it was something alot)...desicions a day. now some of these desicions, most of them in fact, are not very important, and will not end up causing any dramatic remorse....but some of the decisions (how the crap do you spell that word?!), are far more important to the overall out come of out life. I just dont wanna make the wrong choices with my life because i know that once i make certain choices.....there is simply no turning back.

oh man you guys, i just wish i had a personaly psychic assistant who could look into the future and tell me everything i need to do and choose before had so that i can just know, ya know? i guess i have to be my own personal assistant psychic and just like, take bigger chances, and make firmer decisions ( really hate that word), and just try to look ahead as far as i can to see if the outcome will be in my best or worse intrest. i put things off for as long as i can until i absolutly am forced to decide....and thats because even then, im still not sure....

very confusing times people, very confusing...

anywho, that is all for B today, i have to write my other blog too...

check that ish out! i speak the truth in my other blog also:

but yeah, guess thats it...choose wisley my peeps!

p.s. those ads at the top of the page look interesting...***hint hint!!***

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Oh Brother(s)...
Umm...yeah, like what the heck you guys. The topic I will be talkin about today is very serious to me, even though it may seem a little...fickle. How come boys dont EVER wanna be just friends???!!!!!
This question has plauged me ever since i started high school probably...maybe ven middle school...but ya know, its just like what the heck. Its extra hard these days tho...I really just. Its very hard.
Lets just say for now,in this post, hypothetically, maybe in real life, I have a boyfriend (I cant disclose all of the information right now). Since I have a boyfriend ya know, im expected to like be faithful and whatnot, as is he. And that is pretty understandable right? Should be! But hardly it is. I guess you could call me attractive or what not, and i REALLY dont mean to be tootin my own horn and all that, but it just seems like every boy i meet, and start trying to be friends with latley, they all just end up liking me and junk! Im like what the heck?! why cant i have any male friends with out turning them on?! I only have lets say about 2 or 3 male friends that i have been knowing for a while now that dont want me, and hey, maybe they secretly do! but they just havent said anything like that. I know im not everybody's type, im not even like one of the finest people i know, so i guess i just have like a totally a** kickin personality that people just fall in love with, and i cant help that. but now it just seems like i cant even open up my gaurd to boys now a on the internet...people i meet in my store...people i just meet anywhere. they cant be trusted! no boy can be trusted! none of them want to be my friend, and if they say they do, they are probably lying...i really just dont know what to trust. i mean, i like having friends, but they just end up wanting to take it further, and i cant do that right now because im in a "relationship".
this is all just very weird stuff yall... its different for girls. girls are statistically less horny than guys, so every cute guy they meet, they arent just gonna be like, "what up pa, can i get yo number?....thats cool we can just be friends!"
im mean, some slutty hoeish girls are like that, but most of them are not. we can control ourselves. we like guys, but for the most part, we would rather have a friend. basically tho, im a very big skeptic of platonic relationships. i dont belive them for a minute. in some case however, you may find that one rare, non gay dude that really does just want to be your friend. but most likley ladies, its not gonna happen. its a tough world out there tho, and i just wanna say, be careful!
and if ya dont know....yall know what to do

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Friday, April 25, 2008


Hello everyone, It's bretony, everyone's favorite weird girl. im back....for a while...after a loooong departal....from everything...yall just dont know. i can be a very private person at times, not wanting to share anything with anyone except like one or two people in my life. at other times, my life is an open book...of chocolates! but seriously tho. i have lots of drama. mainly in the fact that, there is no one in this world on my side except for myself. i use to wonder how people did thier seemingly perfect little dumb lives. they are in college, they drive a nice car, always have nice clothes and still manage to have time and money to hang out with their friends and boyfriends and what not... its because they have help! and they've had help thier whole life...or maybe not their whole life, but a good portion of it. there is no way in the world they could be living life like that by themselves unless they slangin or hoein!
which is what i might have to start doing. just mosey on over to the dark side for a while, until iget myself back on my feet. i have been playing by the rules my whole life. or most of it at least...well, 75%, but still, a good portion. i just dont see any other plausible way short of a miracle for me to wake up in the morning and not be like, what the heck am i doing where am i going with my life, what does it all mean!!
what i think it is people? bretony is going through her quarter life crisis. as much as i dont wanna admit it, im turning 21 next month. and i have absolutley nothing to show for it at this point. im worse off than when i was 18 for cryin out loud! i go through so many struggles on a daily basis that its kinda not funny. ranging from a wide aray of things, form men, to looks, to personality, to career, to spirituality, just everything. so many emotions racing through my head at a time but none of them making sense. i dont know where to turn or who to confide in. all i have is me right now. just me. just bre. and i dont see a light at the end of my tunnel. i need a miracle, some help, or a change of mind via a psychologist. or i need a new game plan. and evil game plan....
but i will talk about that later. what i wanna talk about now is the disease that i think i have. bipolarity.
i think i am bipolar. there is one particular instance in which a recurring cyclical chain of events unfold at differnet times of the day or even the week. it is based on my apperance. it may seem like i like the way i look. YOU may even like the way i look. im not gonna lie, most people do like my general over all look. and sometimes, so do i. but its just like other times, sometimes maybe even the next day or next hour, i can look in the mirror at the same gurl and be like, ulgh! is that me? why do i look so horrible. i look terrible! i dont feel worthy of life!
and then its like other times, i look in the mirror and be like, damn! i am one bad b word! i look better than all the people i know! no wonder everyone is in love with me, and then i get the camera out and start snappin pictures uncontrolably. and its like this for me all the time! you dont even understand. its such a hard an confusing thing to grasp on to. its like i just dont get it. but i finally figured it out today that it is a result of my bi polarity...a chemical imbalance in my little body. sometimes i try really hard to perfect my flaws, i have so many. i try so hard that it make me sadder when nothing works. then other times, im like eff it. and i just accept it and try to move on. i waste a lot of time and unnessecary money on constantly trying to improve myself but nothing ever works. there are times when that is all i think about. and there are time when i dont think about it at all (those are the times when there is usually something else going on in my life).
and its not even about people telling me, "oh bret you know your beautiflu what are you talking about, your gorgeous, things will work out.."
i've heard it all before people. i hear it almost everyday, but it has little or no impact. its hard to show the real me. its hard to look people n the eye with confidence all the time, even if the "claim" to like what they see. most of you only see me with my best efforts. i cant even BEGIN to be comfortable in my most natural state...and that is hard.

i dont know yall, i just dont know. you know how you look at some people and they just seem to have it looks, talent smarts, friends, loved ones...
when will it be my turn to bask in all the glories that life has to offer? when? like i really just wanna know the date so i can have something to look forward to. i just want to be straight for my b day. its may 26th. i hope people can love me for who i am.
such a hinderance. sorry for this being so long everyone...

if you dont know, you better ask somebody, its the truth.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

ok you guys...
soooo...., i kinda sorta did, what i was kinda sorta gonna do. but not really tho. i know at this point you all may be a tad confused as to what is even going on with me right ow. my world is like totally spinning in a weridout of control type thing. that is why ladies and gentlemen, my skin is breakin out like its i am legend up in here (you know like that disease broke out? it was a joke! come on!)
anyways tho, i guess i gotta tell you all whats going on now, no more beating around that bush. I forgot what alias i used for my male best friend who i use too...ya know.. with, but i started talkin back to him recently after being banned from ever speaking to him again by my crazed, now ex, boyfriend. Also, my ex was still living with me. Now yeah, that seems a little weird, but i thought that me and him had a complete understanding that we were broken up, and that he was just still staying there until he moved out in about a month. That situation was cool with me. ofcourse tho still, he didnt like it when i talked to best friend, so we would often get into arguments over that. eventually tho, ex started really goin crazy. and when i mean REALLY goin crazy, i mean REEEAAALLLYYY goin CRAAAAAZY. ex would make threats to me about what he was gonna do if we and best friend didnt stop talking. he would follow me around the house when i would talk to best friend. even hacked my dang email account to everything i sent best friend forwarded to him! just psycho stuff.
have any of you ever seen that movie misery? the situation was kinda like that...ex being annie wilks of course, and me being paul. the more i think about it, i actually really is exactly like that movie! ex trapped me, kept saying that realtionship wasnt over after all, and that he would never leave the apartment, and that i would just have to stop talkin to best friend or he was gonna make us stop talking. at times, he was even plesesntly cordial about the whole thing, just like annie. me on the other hand, being completly helpless and trying to take matters into my own hands in my own certain way. but we all know how misery ended right?i a a woman of peace. or atleast i try to be. i dont wanna bring violence all up in my house! i dont wanna involve all these extra unnessecary people into this that dont really have to be. i really would like for no one to get hurt. but as each day progresses, it seems more and more of a slim possibility. its looking like there will be casualties. hopefully not that many. and hopefully not me.
the flip side to the story tho, is that with every increasisngly crazy thing ex did, i grew more and more closer to best friend. i was calling him all the time, always thinking about him. more than i had ever had before. these new found feelings that i had for best friend were over taking me. everytime ex would threaten our friendship, i would get more and more defensive. i couldnt let me and best fridn end like that, not again. i was doing anything i could to keep us together. i know he didnt deserve to be involved in my drama of a horrible break up, but he was. i felt the need to protect him from it. to protect US from it. i ihad to see him. so i did. me and best friend. i sat there looking into his eyes and didnt know what kind of mistakes i had made over the past two years, but i wanted to fix them all just to be with him. before i went back home that night, we shared what may seem to anyone else just a regular kiss. it had been so long....but for me, it was much more. i stil think about it all the time. try to recreate the perfection in my head. i want it again. i want it everyday for the rest of my life. but now is the part that really hurts. best friend and i could never be because of ex. crazy ex. i was still living with him. still arguing. still mad all the time when i was in my own home. his ultimatum? stop talkin to best friend immediatly or else. ex became very persistant, sending me over 100 test messages in one day expalining how we would work out as a couple if i only stopped talkin to best friend. how he was sorry for everything wrong he did to drive me away. how he would fix everything. wtf?! i didnt wanna fix anything with him! for some reason, he just does not want to let me go! i know im all that and a bag of chips, but dang man. just dang. i couldnt take it anymore, i sent best friend a message, i told him that i loved him too much to just be his friend, and that the pain was too much to just be that. maybe we shouldnt talk anymore. it is true that if you love something you must let it go. even tho i had absolutly no intention to get back with ex, i also had no intentions of continually hurting best friend, and me for that matter. i thought that message would alleviate some of the stress that i had in my mind about me talking to best friend as if i could only be friends with him. that is just waay to hard to pretend that you dont love someone for so long, also not knowing how they even feel about you, but not wanting to risk it. so just eff it is what i thought. i will just be by myself, just me. just alone.
i left ex in the house all alone with his crazy thoughts, all by his self. i told him that i could not be in the same house with him anymore. he however still wanted to talk, to work things out. i didnt.
best friend called me that night to talk about the message i had sent, and what it meant for me and him. he was a little upest. i didnt quite know why. he wanted me to explain why it was that we could not talk. i tried to explain to the best of my ability with out completly breaking down. he asked me if i knew how he felt about me. i didnt. i had to go. befre we got off of the phone tho, best friend told e somthing that i will never forget. he said that he did...L word me too....
what was i to think about that?! what was i to do??!!! at that moment, i realized that he is the one that i wanna be with. him and only him. but due to the circumstance, i couldnt....
i didnt talk to him today. however, i did talk to ex. he wants to know when im coming home so we can talk about "working things out". he sent me another 50 billion messages... i eventually responded, why do you even still want me?
...[he said] because i love you.

Friday, February 22, 2008

bretony is about something....i hope it is good...

pray for me yall

Monday, February 11, 2008

Bretony wants to talk about some MUY IMPOTANTE things!
FIRST of all, thanks people who read my blog! and especially comment, i love reading your feedback about my crazy mixed up take on life...
and also, if ya thinkin bout whitening your teeth, CREST WHITESTRIPS definalty works...(no they are not payin me to say that, my advertisement is free...for now). I tried to see if they work work, and holla! they did! its not realy significant white like that, but it looks natural in a way and not just, oh bleach bleach bleach! but yeah, i liked them...the only thing is, they be slippin and slidin, but other than that, they were cool to me :)
What i really wanna talk about today, is technology...its takin over the freakin world!! no, like, it really is... i was watchin this thing on the history channel, about how technology has evolved in the past 15 years or so, and its just crazy. they are makin stuff so smart that they can actually do things with out the help of humans. they were even talkin about hoe furby's were banned in some government buildings. i was watchin tv, and i saw this thing called the irobot...
what the crap! didnt they have a movie called irobot about robots takin over??!! why dont humans understand that this stuff could come true? and the way we are headed, it is more and more of a possibility...
a simpler way of showing how technology is takin over, is the internet.
now most people that i know, mainly boys tho, are addicted to the internet in one way or another. wether it be facebook, myspace, youtube, or some other lame site, they are addicted. they can not go a day without checkin up on there messages, friend requests and all that other stuff. but how importnat is it all really? i for one have grown to hate the internet. at my job, there is nothing else to do but listen to customers bitch and moan, and get on the internet. since i am not trying to "get on" anybody, the internet seems to be pretty boring for me most of the time (and plus my connection is always slow then a mug so i have to wait like 10 minutes for a dang page to load). i have even tried making it more interesting by trying to make money online by being a text sex operator (lol, yeah they do that junk online people), which is surprizingly a very legit job! but my internet is just way too slow. but yes, the internet, a.k.a information superhighway, that is constantly expanding at an alarming rate everyday, has truly taken over many peoples lives in more ways than one.
on to a yet smaller form of technology takin over, the cellular phone. everybody has one these days, EVERYBODY! it seems like a nessecity, in which it usually is. but the advanced technology today has taken it to the next level, where there is so much more you can do with cell phones than just use it in case of emergency. the supposed "best" cell phone out to date is apple's iphone. no i do not endorse this product, although it is pretty cool. i personally dont think a phone should do all of that stuff, i mean, sure its all convenient and stuff, but it being a phone, and connected to a national service such as cingular or whatever company its with, it is not safe, and therefore can not be trusted. the mayor of my very own city, kwame kilpatrick (how'd he get a last name like that i'll never know), has shown the world just how devistating technology can be. they freakin exposed the mans private text messages!! that is now being used as evidence AGAINST him! what has the world come to when something that you think is private, safe and secure is now turning right around to bite you where the sun dont shine. tisk tisk tisk. i wish somebody would uncover some dang text messages i sent years ago and try to use it against me. ninjas is crazy!
but yeah, that just goes to show you, technology, expecially new technology, is not always your freind, and it truly can turn out to be something very harmful. and this is only the begginging (or however yuo spell that word). the human race will never be satisfied until we have a machine that does everything for us, cook, clean, work....think. just like they say curiosity killed the cat, convenience will eventually end up killing us off if you ask me.
but yall dont hear me tho!
anywho, two pieces of technology that i absolutly adore and suggest you run to go buy, are th ipod touch (which is not the IPHONE, and therefore safer...well, atleast i think so). and the blackberry pearl, which is just plain cute! but still people, be carefull how convenient you want your life to be....

Thursday, February 07, 2008

What i think is WRONG with the world

Basically, i have been thinking alot. about life. about why it is the way it is. why its a certain way for certain people, and where does all of this nonsense always come from. I have narrowed it down to one common factor. speaking of that, do yall remember least common factors???!! throwback!! anywho, what i think is wrong with the world today, is that everybody looks different. yes, that is where i think every single problem stems from. jelousy, rage, power, sorrow, poverty, fame, greed, infedelity, basically every problem you can think of... its all because we all look different. Think about it, its true! one of the biggest problems that the world faces is racism. different races of people come about because we are all born in differnt parts of the world which makes our skin color different. there are also many other distinct features that each particular race has. there are some poeple out there who think there are only two races, white and black. this black pather guy came into my store one day talkin bout that junk, makin me listen. man i tell you, when people get passionate about something, they wanna tell everybody and they momma about it...for hours! anyways, yeah, racism wouldnt exist if we all looked the same. nobody would be better than anybdy else, therefore, no one would be richer thatn anyone else. since everyone looked the same, no one would PROBABLY wanna cheat, therefore eliminating jelousy and all those other horrible traits that associate with that. people wouldnt be slef concious, there would be no need for make overs. everyone would have equal oppertunity for everything. well, i guess thats not gonna happen, but it is just a thought. and it is very powerfull to think how the way we all look has such an impact on all human life as we know it. it is very important that we understand this concept so we can grasp it, and manipulate it in our favor.

but whatever, i was just thinkin...

i am at work right now...these people keep comin in bothering me. i guess its not their fault, they just want to be helped. i just have too much stuff on my mind. like i hope i will not be stuck in this job for the rest of my pathetic little life. something big has to happend to me. i know it will, i just am very tired of waiting on it to happen. ironically enough, i believe it all starts with my looks. i am very skeptical about my skin right now. it is very bad. i absolutley hate every inch of it. that is what holds me back form a lot. that and the fact that im about 20 pounds underweight. i love my face, i love a lot of things about me. its just i know that for the profession that i wanna be in, i have to be perfect, or very close to it. i could see if i wanted a desk job, or some behind the scene type of thing, then i wouldnt care if i looked like puff the majic dragon, but i wanna be in front of the camera, on the tv screen, on the movie screen and red carpets, and maybe hanging on some peoples walls. i cant be llokin like this. i belive that once i am "fixed", things will get better almost instantaneously.... i will definalty have more confidence. other than all of that tho, it will just be....much better i think. i really cannot wait until i have my tv show an actual channel and people recognize me in the street, and i just start getting more famous as the days go by. it will really be great.

all those reading this blog now, i hope you remeber me just a little bit in this state that i am in will be very insightfull when i actualy do get really famous.

new picture time!!

Monday, February 04, 2008


Ok you guys, so when i left off, i had just ended a relationship with my flaming homosexual of a high school sweetheart. we never really officially broke up, but ya know, he didnt go to prom with me, so thats like an end to any relationship if you ask me. i went to prom ironically with my 9th grade boyfriend. i know right...weird!! but it kinda wasnt. the only thing was he wore like freakin purple and i was wearing hot pink, but who cares, i called him up the day of, so im just glad i had anybody to go with. when we got to the prom, he had to leave early. yes i was sad, yes i was depressed, yes i was feeling like all was wrong with the world! i managed to sulk around for the rest of the prom to wait for my best friend whitney. i rode to go out to eat with whitney and her date. luckily, my boy best friend, thomas had an underage date that night, so when he dropped her off at home, i moved on to my second date for the evening. we all went out to eat, which was cool, but nobody wanted to go home still....which is understandable! we eventually went to a hotel that whitney's date had co-purchased for prom night. whitney and her man werent that mad, i mean, they werent gonna do it or anything, i mean come on now, whitney? ha! anywho, as soon as i had walked into the hotel room, i noticed a few things. the first thing that i noticed was a boy named mike. now mike....mike, mike, mike...what can i say about mike. i had a class with mike my senior year (it was physics! freakin pysics! another science class!!! that is really freaky!). me and mike exchanged a few words. i guess i thought he was cute, but ya know, we never really talked like that so, whatever, but we definatly knew who each other was. i also noticed mike best friend, a bunch of other football players, and a boy named marc. now marc, i never really knew at all in high school, but from what i heard, he apparently went there, so ya know, i dont know. anyways, so everyone was gettin accuainted with everyone in the hotel room, everyone got to talking to each other about their nights. i began talking to mike. i got around to saying how horrible the prom was for me, my date was a complete mismatched recluse who left early, and he said how he had to end up going to the prom with his best friend because he didnt have any one to go with. yes, we both knew that we probably should have went together, but who knew. eventually, marc had followed me outside to "chat" i guess, his conversation was ok, more friendly tho, and less spicy than me and mike's conversation. marc had to leave tho, which gave more time for me and mike to get accuainted. i layed down on the bed next to mike ( and next to a bunch of other people because it was only 2 beds in the room and like 30 people, but it was fun tho). we flirted a little bit, i gotta admit. we all eventually went to sleep tho, nothing too major.

LMAO! in the middle of the night tho, whitney's mom was calling her asking where she was. apparently whit had lied about staying over a freiends house, so her mom came to get her from the hotel, come on whitneys mom, its prom! whitney asked did i need a ride. i really REALLY did not wanna leave, for many reasons, mike voulentered to take me home. such a sweetie! in the morning when i woke up for real, mike took me home in his rented all white 2005 mustang. we talked in the car, listened to music, and that was the end of it ya know. we graduated that following sunday or monday, so the gang was all hyped up. we had to celebrate. my post h.s. graduation posse consisted of me, whit, her man, and all of his football buddies, their groupies, a few other ninjas, and mike. we all went to the movies that day. i sat next to mike. i liked mike. he liked me too, i mean duh, look at me. mike was shy tho, very shy, so was i tho. but it was cool, we hung out so much that summer that we eventually got around to hanging out solo. we really connected me and mike. we became almost like best friends. one day, im not exaclty sure how it began, but the crew was hangin out at some park, me and mike stayed behind in the car, we werent talkin tho, i'll let you all figure out the rest,lol. that was a good day.

me and mike had a very hot ummm, sort of relationship, i dont wanna call it a summer fling tho because it continued, even when he went off to college. even after a year, and even after he came back from college the year after that, and still when he went back to college the second year. yeap, me and mike were tight. however, one major thing, we never actually went together. i mean, we did all the stuff that people who go together do, but we just didnt. we talked about it sometimes, but we just ended up....not together. i suppose neither one of us wanted to be in one. or atleast he didnt. i knew that he had other girls, it didnt bother me, he also knew i had MANY other guys, didnt bother him either... i liked that about us, kinda. but not really tho. i wanted to have an official relationship. he still didnt. i knew that he liked me, but he just did NOT wanna be with me like that. i figured i was doin somethin we i told him that i had someone in my life that i was about to start going with. i really thought that woudl spark something in him. something like, "hey!, i wanna be with bretony, and i dont want her to start going with somebody else! im gonna ask bretony to be my boo boo!"

it didnt happen like that at all. he was fine with me going with someone.

now you may ask, who is this "someone" i was thinking about going with? so there was this guy, tony. tony was a fan of my online videos. yes people, i have online videos, go check em ( *cough cough***) he wrote me on myspace about how he just thought i was sooo super talented, so fine, so amazing, so great, and yes, me being the girl i am, i ate it right up, yummy! we talked a whole lot. everyday. i really did like tony. and he definatly liked me, a WHOLE lot. more than any other boy had at the time. i eventually met tony, he came over my apartment to show me some of the films that he made and some of his art work, they were really very good. we ended up talking all night long until about 6 a.m. i think i went to sleep tho, i mean shoot, i be sleepy! i woke up tho, and we started talking again...but it was a more intimate talk. he told me all the things that a girl needed to hear, and i continued eating right out of his palm. i know what your thinking tho, HEX NO I DDINT DO IT TO HIM! what kinda jump off yall think i am??!! we just kissed! lol, but it was a good kiss tho. i really did like him a whole lot. i like his ambitions, i liked his drive, his passion, his liking for me, his humor, his talent, just everything! i thought he was perfect!

but i still thought about mike...

i still talked to mike everyday, i told him about tony. i dont think he took tony to be as much of a serious thing at first, but eventually, everyone got the picture when i ended up going with tony after about 2 months of knowing him, probably less than that. then everyone knew it was real. i talked to mike less and less. me and tony got closer, and in getting closer, i found out things about him. nad things. things i wish i didnt know, but hey. tony is a FREEEAAAK first of all...i mean, his porn addiction is enough for any girl to go crazy about, he constantly talks about other women, you know, the thick, vuluptous, curvascious ones....basically everything im not. it makes me feel bad. it makes me loose the confidence that i do have. he is very controlling, very demanding, argumentative as crap, but on top of all that, he's a cheater. yes that is right everyone, since i started going with tony, he has cheated on me over 6 physical times, one including sex in my very own bed. on top of everything tho, there's his ex girlfriend dionna (she gets no alias because i dont give a fuck about that hoe). the only, ONLY reason he stopped going with dionna is because she left for the army. other than that, it was his perfect woman. he claims all the time that she is nicer than me, more understanding, better looking, thicker, and overall a better woman who knows how to treat a man. but fuck all that.
i gotta admit tho, i did go up to spend the night at mikes apartment, but we didnt even touch each other, not even a hug. i guess me and mike have passed that stage. i realized that he didnt want to settle down, and i didnt want to have to deal with, his drama of not wanting to settle down. i am not one who like to lie about a lotta things, so i immediatly told tony where i was and how i was with mike, and to this very day, every wrong thing that he ever does, he equates it to that one freakin night that i spent with mike. eff, that, ya know what im sayin?! the last straw for all of that bull ish was a message that i found out that he had sent dionna, only a month ago actually! talkin about how she was the best thing that has ever happened to his life, and how as soon as she gets uot of the army he wants to eff her, impregnate her, and marry her. and then in 08, which is this year, they are gonna move to l.a. together. ofcourse when i confronted him about it, he had some bull ish excuse as always, but there really is no excuse for what i see with my own two freakin eyes! duh! matter of fact, you all can see it with your own eyes too, i forwarded the message to myself, so here it is, in its entireity:

(this is one of many)

----------------- Original Message -----------------From: ********* Date: Dec 29, 2007 12:28 PM
I CAN NOT stop thinking about you. But you know what I've been thinking of lately? DOIN' IT! HOW COME we can never do it?! As MANY chances as we've had, NEVER. Yet, you go over there and do someone in a HEARTBEAT. And I bet you've done like 3, 4 guys by now.But anyway, I've been jacking off ALOT lately to that tape we did during Murphy's play. Next time you come, I don't care WHAT WE HAVE TO DO, WE'RE DOING IT! We're devoting the ENTIRE DAY to FUCKIN'! I SWARE. I want you SO BAD. The DAY I see you, we're doing it, ok? (You'd BETTER address that) I mean, you don't even call to hold me down with the phone sex anymore... what the hell, Marie?! I thought you were my girl (You're prolly someone else's girl by now though....this is so sad)Anyways, I'm going to LA Jan.10th to get an Agent. Wish me luck.
--- and that was the complete, unretouched messages......

(here's another one i found that really hit a bad way. this one to some random schoochie mama)

"You're so sexy!!!!!!!I'm having relationship problems I want to talk to you about. I'm bored with my sex life. Because the girl I'm FORCED to be faithful to has NO ASS. And I FIEND for it. Like...NONE. Not even a regular girls ass. I at LEAST need a regular girls ass. Her thighs don't even touch. I never thought I cared about ass so much, untill now. I need a girl like you or ANY GIRL on this earth. I'm going to cheat, I know I am. What should I do?"

so you can see why i had to break it off im sure! it has been over ever since i confronted him about that, but it is still very tense because he hasnt moved out yet...but he is tho. even though it has been about 3 weeks, we still havent even hinted about gettin back together, so hopefully this time it is for good. ladies...please do not go down the same road i do. i know how hard it can be sometimes, and you feel like no one is on your side, but you really do just have to be strong and do what you have to do. it may be hard to belive, but there is some one out there who will treat you right. or atleast thats what im tellin myself...

i just wish i could find some virginal god fearing nerd, who just loves me and respects me, and honors me, and supports me, and doesnt have some perfect ex girlfriend, and who's not gay, and who wants to be with me and not "see what else is out there". is that sooo much to ask? why is that so hard to find? maybe i just need one big ole dating could be called "Broke of Love" and it could air on VH1 on sundays at 9.

I really need to get it together before i turn 21


Thursday, January 31, 2008

so this is the WHOLE story yall....
Alrighty, my current relationship situation is less than perfect, I MUST say, so i would just like to share it with the internet world...or who ever is listening, and see what you all think. because right now, its just an uphill back and forth power struggle between me...and him.
Im gonna use some aliases to protect the identity of those closest to me. (lol sounded really offical right there, yes i know).
Im gonna start off my relationship history from the 9th grade, which is when i had my real first boyfriend. i was such a geeky a** quiet shy girl it wasnt even funny. i was also very insecure, even though now that i look back on it, i was fine! anywho, i had got transfered to a different sciecne class, and this boy named dion was in there. from the moment he saw me litterally, he sparked up a conversation. nothing to straight forward at first, just good friend conversation. it eventually evolved into, "oh bretony, i have this letter for you that i want you to read"...i read it, and it was very...presumptuous for lack of better words. he wanted me, and bad. i didnt understand it. i really didnt know what to do about it. i mean, he was nice and everything, but he was very very short. and i just didnt know how to handle having a legit boyfriend. i turned him down the first time. the second time, and time and time after that. i turned him down an awful lot now that i think about it. but that boys middle NAME was persistance. one day, i finally gave in for two reasons, one to shut him up, and two, to get over my very first boyfriend fear. it was cool at first, i thought having a boyfriend would end some of the tension between us. it didnt. little did i know that with a boyfriend, came boyfriend and girlfriend "stuff" you had to do. he walked em to all my classes, we hugged in the hallway, we skipped classes together. he even wanted a kiss! i was like HEX naw. i had never done anything like that before. ( i know i know, i was in the freakin 9th grade and hoochie mama's my age were already doin it and crap, but hey what can i say, i lived a very sheltered christian life okay??!!) Anywho, so yeah, all this crazy drama i had to encounter all the time, i just wasnt cut out for it i guess...luckily tho, my sister got married when i was in the 9th grade and my whole family flew out to california for about 2 weeks! yay! man that was so fun **reflecting**. but yeah, it really gave me a break form all of my new found high shcool drama, and by the time i got back, the school year was pretty much almost over. i broke up with dion on the last day of school. he was mad. but hey, he was getting kicked out for grades anyway, i figured i wasnt gona see to much of him. we did however keep in contact over the summer, then we kinda sorta went back together, then we broke up again...weird, i know right?
10th grade i had a dry spell...
11th grade, i was back in action, witha new hair cut ( which is another story in itself), a new additude, a new team i was on (the majorettes), and a new science class! (weird but true, yet another hook up in a science class). his name was lamar. lamar sparked up conversation with me right off the back, just like dion had done only 2 years before. also again, it was meerley on a friendship level. i really liked lamar. he was kinda cute, tall(ler than dion), and he was funny and had a very lively personality (at times a little TOO livley). he claimed he knew me from the marching band, because he played the drums. i had no idea who he was. he did however have a "girlfriend" when i frist met him, which was kind of a crush at the time because i really liked him yall! i didnt care about that scootchy hoe!
all me and him did in class was pass notes back and forth, that was our thing. freindly at first, then they turned to how he was having problems in his "relationship". i tried to console the best i could by tellin him to kick her to the curbside ya know! he eventually did. SOON after that, im talkin like probably a day or two, he asked me to go with him. i initially said no beacuse hey, well, thats kinda my thing, sayin no and all. he asked me like one more time tho, i for some strange reason i said yes. i know it was terribly too soon, for both me and him to jump into something so...sudden. it was aight tho. we kept our relationship a super secret from almost everybody at first, only certain people knew about us in our very first stages. i mean, what can i was just basically good. we never really argued or anything like that. we were just like freinds who had the title boyfriend and girlfriend. we didnt really do anything different. i think we kissed tho. yeah we did. wait no we didnt, not then. we hadnt kissed yet. anywho, i felt that he still had some feelings for his little hoodrat ex, which all men do, i could write a whole book about that ish. she went to the same school as we did and everything, so he had access to her. he claimed they were just "friends" now. blah! so yeah, all of a freakin sudden, thig nig goes back with his ex, who is NO comparisson to me at all, like what the heck man. but yeah, went back with her. so ofcourse it was werid because we were still in the same class right. sat next to each other and everything. all kinds of werid! we still talked i guess tho, still were in the marching band together. it was just so much drama with this boy, but we eventually got to talkin about us yet again. we talked about how he made a mistake going back with her, he just did it because he was scared of change and all that nonsense. i knida belived the little sucker tho. we worked through our differences and we started sneakin around behind her back for a while. and THAT ladies and gentlemen, is when i had my first kiss... HA!
he eventually had to break it off with the girl, and we were together for another year after that. it was pretty good, but he turned out to be a big gay mess...literally.
but im off work, so i will continue this tomorrow!!

Monday, January 14, 2008

A New Segment of Life...

Well....I thought i was finally gonna get a chance to break free from the stresses of my evil job. Even if i had no other options of a job to go to, even though i still had my rent do, even if i still had to support myself, atleast i wasnt gonna get oppressed my "the man" anymore. or so i thought. low and behold, the old manager of the store i use to work at bought his own store in the mall... he heard that i had been let go...he offered me a job at his store.

now i know exactly what you all are thinking out there. why would i go back if i hated it so much right? well, one of the main reasons that i did infact hate the job so much was my irrational tyrant of a boss, along with other things ofcourse, but he was really the main reason. the other guy who sort of ran things, danny, was much nicer than him, maybe even a that is why i accepted yet another job at metro pcs.

ho hum.

so yes people, that is where i am to this very day. for right now it is. but i honestly have to say, it is one of the worst things in my life. being in customer service stresses me out so much to the point where i barely have enough time, strength or energy to do much of anything else i want to do with my life. i could go on and on about the stories that i have accumulated, just form this past year alone... but im gonna save that for my first documentary called "the customer is always right", and then you guys can check that out.but im tellin you man, its deep. its real deep.

i belive that if i had a different job at a different place doing a diferent thing, hopefully something toward the advancement of what i really want to do in the future, which is be a succesfull buisness woman with my own television network, fashion line, modeling career, and be an academy award winning actress. how can i accomplish all of this working at a mere cell phone store all my life?? how? i cant! no one can. that is why when people are past a certain age, and still working in the same job that they've had for years, they get comfortable, they get adjusted, they are scared to branch out, they are scared to go anywhere else. so they stay. and they stay . and then they stay some more, until finally, they are old as heck and they cant do anything else with their meaningless pathetic little lives. and then they just live to get by.

yes it is true i get by now, but dont get me wrong people, i am not just living to get by. i am living to get to my dreams.