hay you guys, i haven't written in a while because a lots of stuff has been goin down...mostly me trying to squeeze in some sleep whenever i can , but being unsuccessfull ( ooh dang, i think i used too many s's in that last word just then)...and i'm hungry! (but whats new about that).
anyhow people, i have been doing some thinking about life and stuff i guess. me and my friend whitney played MASH to find out how our lives would turn out. mine turned out pretty good and whitney's was pretty bad, lol...but i guess you cant really depend on a MASH game to determine your actual future, even though it did seem pretty accurate to me! i began to think about college...waste of time? waste of money? sometimes...i think it really is those things yall! like seriously. i know that there are people out there who think they need college to be succesful (dang i hate that word), or for something to fall back on in life, and that may be all well and dandy, but i do know people who have been to college, got degrees, and they sittin up here beggin for money on the corner of woodward and 75!, i also know many people who didn't finish college, and are driving lexus trucks (and no they are not drug dealers!) that is why some people say that college is not for everyone, and the more that i think about it, it may not be for me. now some people who see this are going to take it how they take it, and that is just fine with me, however, in the end you just have to let me make my own desicions and let me deal with the outcome whatever it may be...uh yeah...lol.
then i started thinking again ya know, and i thought that i should probably just go to college anyways so i can get a college experience, because according to some people, college is fun, and i have not been exposed to the fun part yet, so maybe, i can go and it will be a good experience. the problem with that is, the college that i am partially enrolled in now is lame as spilled milk, however, my grades were not exactly the greatest. so this is what i ultimatley came up with for my plan:
I am going to pay off my entire balance, go a semester, since i do have an apartment and everything, apply to another college, a more hype college, and apply for scholarships to that college as well, meanwhile, making my grade point average a little higher so i cna transfer to a better and hyper collge easier and stuff. all the while, i will be working and whatnot in order to save up to do the things i need to do while im in college and not have to declare bancruptcy up in this peice, ya know what i mean? yeah tho. but anyways, i guess that is a decent plan for right now, but like i may have said in a previous post, my main goal in life is to have fun and enjoy everything i am doing, and to have no regrets and stuff like that. but yeah tho, that is all i have to say about that subject right now.
i was also gonna say something about another topic i was thinking about. it's about love,lol...but seriously tho. do you think that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? i mean i kinda do, but on the other hand, it's like, what the heck it feels so bad to lose something that you had a perfect hold on. and you cant just go back in time and change things. you cant say things that you meant to say, you cant do things that you meant to do...you cant change anything! you just have to move on and eternally live with the fact that you didn't. and that has to hurt. but then if you have never loved at all, you wouldn't have any of the god memories either. any of the sweet things that you experienced, any of the feelings that came over you, anything, nothing at all. which is also a horrible feeling. so me myself am torn in between the two. i really dont know. but i guess ultimatley i have to live with the fact tht the thing i loved....was indeed lost....and i dont know how it would feel to have never loved at all...so i really cant compare the two.
oh well, you live, you learn, and then get luv's! lol, whew, right over your heads there i know...however, it is my time, i must depart now, adios mi amigos!