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Saturday, July 29, 2006

hay you guys, i haven't written in a while because a lots of stuff has been goin down...mostly me trying to squeeze in some sleep whenever i can , but being unsuccessfull ( ooh dang, i think i used too many s's in that last word just then)...and i'm hungry! (but whats new about that).

anyhow people, i have been doing some thinking about life and stuff i guess. me and my friend whitney played MASH to find out how our lives would turn out. mine turned out pretty good and whitney's was pretty bad, lol...but i guess you cant really depend on a MASH game to determine your actual future, even though it did seem pretty accurate to me! i began to think about college...waste of time? waste of money? sometimes...i think it really is those things yall! like seriously. i know that there are people out there who think they need college to be succesful (dang i hate that word), or for something to fall back on in life, and that may be all well and dandy, but i do know people who have been to college, got degrees, and they sittin up here beggin for money on the corner of woodward and 75!, i also know many people who didn't finish college, and are driving lexus trucks (and no they are not drug dealers!) that is why some people say that college is not for everyone, and the more that i think about it, it may not be for me. now some people who see this are going to take it how they take it, and that is just fine with me, however, in the end you just have to let me make my own desicions and let me deal with the outcome whatever it may be...uh

then i started thinking again ya know, and i thought that i should probably just go to college anyways so i can get a college experience, because according to some people, college is fun, and i have not been exposed to the fun part yet, so maybe, i can go and it will be a good experience. the problem with that is, the college that i am partially enrolled in now is lame as spilled milk, however, my grades were not exactly the greatest. so this is what i ultimatley came up with for my plan:

I am going to pay off my entire balance, go a semester, since i do have an apartment and everything, apply to another college, a more hype college, and apply for scholarships to that college as well, meanwhile, making my grade point average a little higher so i cna transfer to a better and hyper collge easier and stuff. all the while, i will be working and whatnot in order to save up to do the things i need to do while im in college and not have to declare bancruptcy up in this peice, ya know what i mean? yeah tho. but anyways, i guess that is a decent plan for right now, but like i may have said in a previous post, my main goal in life is to have fun and enjoy everything i am doing, and to have no regrets and stuff like that. but yeah tho, that is all i have to say about that subject right now.

i was also gonna say something about another topic i was thinking about. it's about love,lol...but seriously tho. do you think that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? i mean i kinda do, but on the other hand, it's like, what the heck it feels so bad to lose something that you had a perfect hold on. and you cant just go back in time and change things. you cant say things that you meant to say, you cant do things that you meant to cant change anything! you just have to move on and eternally live with the fact that you didn't. and that has to hurt. but then if you have never loved at all, you wouldn't have any of the god memories either. any of the sweet things that you experienced, any of the feelings that came over you, anything, nothing at all. which is also a horrible feeling. so me myself am torn in between the two. i really dont know. but i guess ultimatley i have to live with the fact tht the thing i loved....was indeed lost....and i dont know how it would feel to have never loved at i really cant compare the two.

oh well, you live, you learn, and then get luv's! lol, whew, right over your heads there i know...however, it is my time, i must depart now, adios mi amigos!

Friday, July 21, 2006


the people of the facebook administration are some haters up in here because they are trying to make me not share my blog with the world!! this is not spam okay!! clearly it is not. when people are telling the truth, it is never spam.....ya bitches! anywho, i guess my account has been deactivated for a mionute, so i will just have to make due....even though i cant look at my pictures nomore (they are being held hostage on facebook) and i cant talk to my friends no more in that way, but it's cool, haters always lose out in the end, and the prosporous shall flourish all up and to all the haters out there in the world, keep on hatn', it just makes me try harder. THANK YOU!!! damn!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

you know something people...i am really starting to believe that I give people more than they deserve. i mean, i really do tho. i think that it is called being too nice. but im not too nice tho. im not mean, but i am definatley not nice. i guess it's just that, i love my friends, but sometimes i dont think they love me like i love them. even if they let me down, i still feel like i have to come though with all of my promises i made them and stuff. its kinda hard to explain about this situation, but yeah tho...oh well, that subject is making me mad, so on to more important matters...i'm hungary!!! and tired and bored at work yet again. but ya know, what can i really do? well, actually, what can't i do?? one very misconcieved notion about life is that we are only having as much fun as we are letting ourselves have...our biggest obstacles, are nothing but ourselves. i mean really, who stops us from doing exactly what we want (except for the police)? when people go to a party and say, 'man that s*** was weaker then hell!'
think about why it was weak...beacause one person decided to themselves that it was weak and that they weren't even gonna try to make it hype. this set off a chain reaction to everyone else at the function as to say that nobody else thinks this is hype, so i guess i dont either.
now let's look at this situation in another light...the same person saw the same party as it was, but instead, they said 'man this party is hype!' thus in thier mind, they belived that things were more "happening" if you will, and producing more effort by engaging their surrounding counterparts into a seemingly "fun" or "hype" activity involving all around them. and humans being the following creatures that they are will automatically go with the majority of the bunch, even if they doubt it at all...see, people are so predictably...GOT DANG! I just looked at the clock yall, and i got like mutha f*in 9 more hours in this peice which is like not even funny at all... well, i guess it's all up to me how i spen those remaining 9 hours, i mean, i am here all by my dern self up in friend who works with me don gon to cedar point with her boyfriend, and his friend, and his girl, and some more people. oh well, i dont care, it doesnt matter to me at all. nope. not one little itty bitty bit. nope. not at all. no sir bob...
but um yeah.
another thing i wanted to talk about right now is why people lie to themselves? it has been a mystery to me for so long, but before i get into that, i would just like to say to everyone out there who thinks i am telling the truth about real issues that we have all been thinking about, and if your thinking that i myslef am not guilty of some of the things that i accuse others of, i would just like to let you know that i am. i am by far not perfect, nor close to it. i try to be though, and in order for me to do that, i must expose my faults as the true disgust that i have for them. in saying that, i will continue talking about people who lie to themselves. now these people are the ones who go through life in such a facadeical (might not be a word and you might not understand, but its like the only thing that half way describes it, okay!) manner, to which they actually belive the lies they tell others about themselves. now the lies that these people tell themselves can range from..."oh girl i am too cute today!", to "i don't love him!" but you see people, when we tell ourselves and others these lies, we are only hurting ourselvs...nothing good can ever come from lies...nothing!! sure people do not want to ever hear the awful truth, but sometimes it is oh so nessecary to your life! i myself am sometimes guilty of this awful crime against myself. sometimes i tell myself that i am matching, when in, not at all. i tell myself that i have it all figured out and i know exactly where i am going in life....nope, sorry yall, i really dont. i also lie to myself and say that i am not lonley, and i do not need love...or someone who loves me, or a boyfriend...when in actuality...i want all those things! i mean, i can understand that we tell ourselves that we dont want these things because we do not think that are an attainable goal for the time being. just like me...right now, i think that it is highly unlikely that i will find someone who can love me like i want to be loved and stuff like that...who i will think is just perfect in everyway, and that we are perfect for each other. see, it's s*** like that yall! it hurts to hear the truth! that i really don't have all that stuff that i so despratley want but just cannot seem to aquire! oh well, God does indeed have a plan for little Bretony, that is on thing that is the truth that i am not afraid of hearing. i just hope that i see this plan sooner than later.
there was something else that i wanted to talk about, but i forgot...but um yeah, if anybody does have any topics that they want me to talk about...don't be shy yall! i will talk about pretty much anything, and you know it will be the truth...if u dont know how to get in touch, you betta ask somebody!!

Monday, July 17, 2006

what about your friends?? are they gonna stand around? are they gonna let you down? tlc said it best people...i always have had a sort of love/hate realationship with a lot of my friends. now if you are one of my friends who are reading this, then don't take it personal, because I'm probably not talking about you specifically, it's probably another friend (cough...tell em what they wanna hear...cough)lol, but yeah tho. i feel like no body really appreciates the friendships that they have until they are either gone, or threatened. i also believe that people often take others for granted. that is also true about boyfriend girlfriend relationships too. people think that just because they already have someone, that they are gonna be there all the time, and that they are always gonna be doing things that they have always done, when that is simply not the case. it is true that when peolpe think they have something, that they dont really think about it too much until they need to use it, and even then, they think nothing of using it...but oneday, when that thing that you think you have is either, broken, lost, or unable to do the things it use to do for you, you think about how you abused the time that you had with that you could have been using your time with that thing a little more wisely, a little more, caringly...and little more lovingly. a very true statement that someone once said is that you never really miss something until it's gone. well, why does it have to be like that? why cant we miss, yet still have? where is the love people? where is the mother freakin love?? huh? i have a lot of wishes, i know, but one that i do really wish for all mankind is for us to be more appreciative and thought full about the other things in our life that do not directly concern other words...why are we so selfish? when was the last time we did something for someone else? when was the last time we thought about how the other person is feeling? have we listened to thier side of the story, and is it reasonable? there are just so many questions that really i need to know the answers to right now about us human folk. im tellin you yall, psychology is a real muther (of al studies that is)!
i mean, in actuality, sometimes i am not considerate of others, but more often than not, i am almost always thinking of someone they feel, what they think, if they would be mad or not...and then it's just like...what the heck? is anybody else doing this?? where are all the good/kind hearted people at? where my girls at? from the front to back? but most importantly...where are all the good men at??? lol

no, like seroisly on that one...

well, i guess that's it for me for right now, and if you dont know, ask somebody (and if you know somebody who is a good friend/man for me, lol, let a sista know!)

Saturday, July 15, 2006

hay everybody, it's me...bre...comin right back it ya with that hot fire i spit! I had too much to say yesterday, much more than i actually got out of my head to type on this page. i am really upset at how so much stuff gets lost in the translation from our actual mind, or ideas, or thought processess or whatever, out to where others can percieve it as a good idea, or 'the truth'. That is why those people who are good at expressing their thoughts and ideas are so famous...because evrybody is basically thinking the same thing for the most part (well, atleast i think so, yall just dont admit it! lol).
I mean think about it...comedians are doing nothing but telling how life is...and since we all know that it is the truth, we laugh as if to say, 'it's funny cuz it's true! ha ha ha ha' and so forth ya know? i mean, sometimes i be thinkin that i can get up there my dern self and just tell what happened to me that day, and people would be dyin (laughin that is). real talk!
you know actually, sometime i look at a lot of things like, hey i can do that, that doesnt seem as hard as some people be sayin that it look (man my english is horrible!). for instance, celebrities.
evrybody thinks (including me sometimes) that celebrities are always over exaggerating how worn out, tired, exhausted, and whatever that they are, and that they should not be complaining like that. well, this is my view on the whole thing...I believe that when in life, you work hard, you get to play harder. the reason that celebrities can afford to live the lavish lifestyles they do is because they work so hard for it, i mean harder than some of us can imagine. now i mean, it aint no slave labor, or third world country type situation, but it is hard work entertainin yall fools (i'm talkin bout america). we all think that clebrites are lavishly spending and whatnot, but we (americans) are the ones who are demanding these even greater and bigger more spectacular shows from these entertainers. a little soft shoe will not sufice anymore. no, we must have the biggest special effects in movies, the most lavish concerts in the hugest venues, we want to see which celebrity has on the most outrageous outfits, and if they dont meet our outlandish standards, then we dont want them anymore. now everyone has had economics before, or atleast should have, and like, the main principle or whatevr you call it, is where there is a demand, there must be a supply, or some stuff like that. famous people are literally forced to compete with each other.
also, i would just like to say that evrybody and they momma think that they are the next biggest thing out since sliced government cheese (including me,lol...but i really am tho!), but if you really think about it, everybody who has achieved the highest fame, are nothing like the rest of us. sure they may claim they are, 'oh i'm so normal, i'm just a normal average everyday person, dont treat me different.' , it's all bull. we watch these people because they are the best at what they do. they are either the best looking, best sining, best writing, best dancing, well, whatever they are, they are doing it to the maximum capacity. their work is their passion, their drive, and their life. when was the last time you saw michael jordan without a basketball? (well, when he wasnt retired) when was the last time you saw jay-z not rappin on somebody song (even though he is retired) when was the last time you saw dave chappelle not being funny? never. that's when. all im trying to say is, dont underestimate the amount of work that goes into the entertainment industry...every aspect of it. it really does take a lot of work because of such a high demand.
i really think that america's priorites are all f*ed up...
and if you dont know, u better ask...somebody!
thank you very much, have a blessed day all!

Friday, July 14, 2006

What's crack a lackin everybody...I just want to say that isn't it so funny how everyone is trying to be so different from one another, yet, everyone still ends up being just the same as everyone else. we all think we are so unique in some of the things we do, like we are the first or only people in the whole world doing the things we do, thinking the things we think or saying the things we say. that is how alot of the stuff in this world gets played out real fast ya know? one example is with girls (oh especially the girls), the ones who go around calling themselves "america's next top model" or what i mean, there is nothing at all wrong with aspirations of being a model and stuff, but come on now...if you are just a normal a** negro who wears nice clothes and gets your hair done all the time, and got one or two good pictures floatin around somewhere (most likely the internet), does not at all make you an "america's next top model", so stop claimin that s***, and evrybody else, do not encourage, okaaay? lol.
i do not mean to sound like just a huge dream crusher or anything like that, i am mearley giving some advice to all the wanabee's out there.
as you can probably tell though, i myself like to be different, but i have learned not to claim much of anything anymore, i just do what i do, and that is how i am going to do it. i'm not gonna say that i will be one certain thing in life, or for that matter that i wont be one certain thing. anything could happen to me to the point where i could change my mind about somthing, or my whole motivation could change. as far as me being different, well, actually, i'm not even claiming being different. i'm perfectly fine knowing that there is probably someone out there who shares alot of my tendencies and stuff (they probly aren't as cute as me though ; )
in actuality tho, no two people are exactly alike, they can just act so similar that sometimes people get confused...and cuz people be jockin.
even though i am a firm beliver in your own indivduality, i aso know that imitation is the best form of flattery...take that staement as you will everyone.
i was gonna say somethin else, but i forgot...see! thas why i need a frekin video camera. most of the time some of my best stuff gets lost in the translation of this stupid typin s***! oh well, guess you all are jus gonna have to wait for my show to come out!
please pray for me yall, and if you dont know, ask somebody (preferably me) he he he : )

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Hello all...these are the lyrics to the japanese version of part of your world from the movie the little that that song...and love that language! the song sounds so pretty, and i can actually sing it too! anyways, i just wanted to put it on is in romaji and hiragana for all of you who are weak and dont have japanes text enscripted in your computer (lame!) but anyways, yeah...i really wish i had a video camera to record my self singin tight!!

ご覧なさい 素敵でしょうよく集めたと思わない女の子はなんでも とって置くのご覧なさい 洞穴にいっぱいの宝物不思議な物ばかり シュアー なんでもある何に使うのかしらまるで分からないのこれが見たい? 20個あるのだけど もっと欲しい人間の国に行きたい人間は陸の上で踊るんですってあれでほら 足散歩する足が欲しい軽々と弾んで歩いていくのよどこ歩くんだっけ?道おひさま キラキラ花はいい香りがする世界あの陸の世界入れたら何でもあげるのに浜辺にいるだけでもいい私の宝を全部あげてもいいわ優しい人がいるかしら優しい人出会ったら聞いてみたいことたくさん火が燃えるって何の事誰かを 好きだと燃えるって面白いな陸の世界の一部になりたい

こうしていたい いつも笑ってる顔をみていたいそれには何をしたらいいおひさまキラキラ 歩いて走って2人きりの世界で暮らすのなぜなの 何かが始まったのいつの日か必ず あなたの おそばに

Gorannasai suteki deshou,yoku atsumeta to omowanai

onna no ko wa nandemo totte oku no,

gorannasai horaana ni ippai no takaramono,fushigi na mono bakari

SURE nandemo aru

nani ni tsukau no kashira,maru de wakaranai no

kore ga mitai? 20(nijuu) ko aru no

dakedo motto hoshii

ningen no kuni ni ikitai, nigen wa riku no ue de odorun desutte,

arede hora a-shi, sanpo suru ashi ga hoshii,

karugaru to hazunde aruite yuku no yo, doko arukun dakke? michi,

ohisama kirakiraoh, hana wa ii kaori ga suru sekai,

ano riku no sekai, hairetara nandemo ageru noni,

hamabe ni iru dake demo ii,

watashi no takara wo zenbu agete mo ii wa,

yasashii hito ga iru kashira, yasashii hito ni deattara,

kiite mitai koto takusan, askhi ga moerutte nan no koto,

dareka wo suki da to ,omoshiroi na riku no,

sekai no ichibu ni naritai...

just lovely!

oooh la la la... I am back yet again with some truth for that a** yall...and this time, I have one heck of a testimony. i moved into my apartment! my very own first apartment. i love everything about it. and the best part is, i am paying for it. that's right yall.
since i live by myself tho, i have a lotta time to think about things. i was thinking about where i was exactly (well, not exactly exactly) one year ago...i had just got outta high school, no cell phone, problems at home, no car, i slept on the couch, no job, no life, no money, no man, nothing to call my own...that is a very depressing feeling when you have nothing but time to dwell on the fact that you are doing absolutley nothing with your life at all. but also along with all those negative depressing thoughts, you have positive thoughts as, 'come on bret, now how the hell-o kitty are you gonna get outta this mess?' along with all those thoughts going on in my head, i could never really depend on anyone along the way.

let me intermission mystory for a minute to just let everyone out there know, that you relly can not depend on anyone other than yourself if you really want to make things happen. do you really think the negroes are lookin out for yo a**? no they are not! we are a selfish species, only a select few of us actually care about things other thatn ourselves and what involve us indirectly. if you are ever thinking about gettting something done in life, you must always, always remember the quote...if you want something done...gotta do tha s*** urself yo!

but back to the that it is a year later, i am the manager at my job, my bank account is never over drawn anymore, i have 2 cell phones, (still no car, but i'm good), and an apartment to call my own. and it's only been a year. i know it may not seem like much right now to some people, but things do take time. i am very happy with the progressions i am making.
i also must say that all of this did not come from me always worrying about 'am i gonna have enough money to do this, am i gonna be strong enough to do that, can i handle living on my own', it all came from faith.
thats right peps, faith is the key factor to successes. and the bad thing about it, it is a key factor that many of us lack. there are somemany people aout there restricting their abilities all because they do not belive, or they are scared of what will happen if they fail. there is another quote (i just love me some quotes,lol) that simply says "win or parish". there was a story behind it about how long ago this man...well, to tell you the truth i really forgot...but real talk, what it's basically breaking down to is, you should think about situations in terms of, 'if i really wanna do this, i should just put all that i have out there for me to succed in it, failure is not an option'. if you do not succed in the thing that you want to accomplish, then there is really nothing else to be done about that now is there? you just have to belive in yourself that you will do it.
for all of those skeptics who still think that 'oh i have to have a plan for my life, shouldnt i have a back up in case somethign doesnt work out? blah blah blah blah!' no! if you really want to do it! at all costs...if there is one thing that this world has taught me, it's that the seemingly impossible is possible...i mean, thinik about it people. we are living in a world where when in the beginning, all we had was our bodies, the sun and moon, and 109 (give or take) elements on this earth that God gave us to work with....some time later, man has built sky high towers, huge space shuttles that defiy gravity, huge metroplis cities and countries...economic systems, morals, values, societal structure...and also produced humans who have overcome tremendous feats to become legends in our time...albert einstien, one of the smartest men alive, who at first was percieved as retarded...helen keller who was deaf AND blind who worte novels, amazingly gifted child prodgys who lead nations and preform classical concertos before their feet can even reach the floor, oh yeah and me ofcourse, who is destined for things even greater...

you see, that is how we have to talk to ourselves...that is what we have to think like if we are truly going to be anything worth anythign these days.
so yeah, ihoped that helped somebody, and as far as this peice of truth for today, if you dont know, ask somebody who does! k? ya!